Sleepless

I had lovely company today, a young man and his grandma who came over for a visit today. We met at the suicide survivors support group. She was a very young grandma, and she is so easy to talk to. I love grandmas more and more lately. I received a bottle of wine, and a box of mandarin oranges to boot. How very thoughtful and kind. I managed to clean house and clean my fridge, which is an accomplishment on the best of days. With my husband's help I was even able to cook a home made goulash soup, which does require a few ingredients. He bought the beef home from the grocery store. My father taught me to make it just right, with beef, kohlrabi,carrots and white parsley root of course. Caraway seeds are also required. For best results a caldron is preferred as the cooking vessel, but unfortunately I am missing the three prong stand, plus we can't have an open fire in our city. I found the soup to not be as tasty as usual, but I did cook it a little too fast, and found it to be boiling at one time.  Good soup requires simmering only.  Considering that I have very interrupted and scarce sleep, I get up at four), it has been a good day due to good company.

The conversation repeatedly went back to our experiences with the treatment of mental health. We shared how our loved ones significantly deteriorated once they were treated in the hospital. We reminisced and watched films of Deborah playing in the orchestra when she was very young. It came so easily for her, She had on her black skirt with her blue vest and white blouse. Her feet still did not touch the ground as she played her violin. We viewed her sisters play on the violin too in the intermediate strings.What dear memories! Then after the soup and a glass of wine, we saw the preaching part of the funeral service, as well as the brief clip of Deborah's baptism. Yes, she said she was diagnosed with drug induced psychosis, but she wasn't. We simply believed that that is what it may be since she was doing drugs before her hospitalization eight months before her death. This is what is so troubling, that the experts do not want to hurry with a diagnosis so as not to stigmatize the person with a label, such as bi-polar, or schizophrenia.They all wait for a sign, and several signs before they are willing to call it something. These dear souls they want to get well, and often hide their pain, and don't reveal the extent of their pain in order to spare their family the grief. They are willing to try anything and co operate with professionals, even to the point of shock therapy. However, because there is no biological evidence of things going wrong, the drugs don't help them, and at best it is the process of elimination that there may be a chance that one even works. By that time a person is usually so damaged that they have reached the point of no return.

Beware SMH means Surrey Mental Health to them, not SMH-Surrey Memorial Hospital.
You may end up going to the wrong location like I did.  We were 30 minutes late for our appointment.

I found out the following at the meeting with the experts.
1)They don't know how long they may take to give a diagnosis, or if they can even make a diagnosis. They wait for some outward exhibit or signs down the road.
2)They don't communicate well with other professionals ie family doctors, so communication is broken.
3)They rely on what the person says in the office during an appointment, and not collect information from the family about ie, loss of appetite, loss of job, sleep,productivity, mood, interaction with others.
4)They acknowledge that a lot more can be done.
5) If the patient doesn't want to quit using a medication per recommendation of doctor, then the psychiatrist allows patient to continue to use it, and not inform family members of his/her recommendations.
6)They say sorry if your loved one commits suicide.
7)They believe what patient says about their progress in social life, work or hobbies, and not consult with family.
8)They are not alarmed if the patient calls off appointments as long as they re-book and appointment. (meanwhile, some drugs need weekly monitoring, like Cipralex).
There is more, and I will update you as it comes to my memory. At this moment this is all that comes to my mind.