What is gossip? Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. A rumor is a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts, gossip; hearsay;
I knew that as long as you spoke a truth, it wasn't a gossip. Also, a gossip is NOT talking outside of the presence of the person you are talking about. I often wonder why people today are so silenced and isolated by the fear of not being able to share or use someones experiences or life as a learning tool, in the fear that it would be labelled as gossip. I am saddened that due to the lack of knowledge, the people perish. Also in the presence of counsel there is a solution to be found. The means of getting that counsel, can be sometimes be troublesome, as well as misunderstood.
To illustrate what I am trying to say, I'll use the words of a realtor. He explained to me the reason Vancouver is such an expensive place to live. He said there are few foreclosures, because interest rates are artificially low, and the Asian market keeps the prices inflated. He said that people in China have tremendous capital which they seek to invest in a place such as Canada. This realtor, I'll call Harry, said that he has lived in Manitoba and Alberta, and if he was a young person he would in fact move from BC. This province is unfriendly to business, has no large corporations, (they are primarily in Alberta, and Ontario), and generally has an attitude of "no", we can't do it. On the other hand, Alberta, says "yes we can", even and including to the winter Olympics in case a city is ill prepared to host it. By having hosted it once before, they feel they can do it again, and again. British Columbia has no large corporations whatsoever, according to him. Now, having gained this insight, did he put down the Asians for moving to BC and inflating real estate prices? Did he demean British Columbia perhaps as a not preferred location to set up house? How would you understand it? By having a frank discussion, there was no gossip implied.
Most recently, I have written to a woman on Facebook who is about to be married. For the last 6 months she has indicated that all she wants for her wedding gift is cash or cheque to spend on her nine day honeymoon in Whistler. Finally, after many months of seeing this post, I mentioned to her that even Martha Stewart is opposed to this approach, and only the bride's friends, or those closest to the bride could casually remark to those who ask, as to their gift preference. I told her that it was not proper etiquette to tell guests what they should give them as a present. Eventually, the bride to be caved and said if they get gifts they will sell them. At that point I stopped the conversation because I knew that you cannot pour brains into someone, or lead a mule to drink water. The bride to be kept drumming the fact that she is the bride and it is totally ok for her to make this request. As a family we had many disturbing conversations about all these posts going up on Facebook about her cheque and cash only requirement. So, did that make us gossip in our home about her posts? Were we at fault for engaging in silly giggles and sighs about these ridiculous demands? I was hoping that by pointing out to her to not to post her demand, I was trying to spare her embarrassment, and belittling from those who read her continuous reminders. Eventually, so many people pulled out of her group list, that the wedding dinner had to be cancelled after the church service. She did not heed my caution. I believe I was the only one who told her the truth, others mostly just laughed in silence. What is your role in the positive sharing of information? Do you feel that you are gossiping or trying to help the person become a better individual?
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