I am watching the movie Cast Away, I'm at the part where he looses Wilson his friend depicted in the symbol of the soccer ball. I can't believe how he could persevere for so long on a deserted island. The crazy reality of loosing friends and human contact is almost unbearable to watch. I too feel that I have lost everything in the loss of my daughter Deborah. It seems that we just exist, and routinely carry on with the necessities. Today I e-mailed the cemetery and asked them to touch up her gravestone since some stone/lawnmower blade cut into the stone. I sure hope that they will do this. I feel a heavy burden with all the struggles of life, and the life of those around me. I took some pretty pink carnations and baby breaths to Deborah's grave on her birthday on the 14th. I scrubbed her grave stone clean, and both her father and I stood and said a prayer together. We told her how much we missed her. Now we have till August to recover, and then face the day of her death. Where has 4 years gone? What are her friends doing? When will be reunited again? I totally hope that it will be soon. Where will I be 4 years from now? Can I endure another 4 years without her?
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