July 7, 2014
Brian Kammerzelt is an assistant professor and chair of the
communications department at the Moody Bible Institute. For more
information, visit www.critiquebycreating.com or follow him on Twitter ... Read More
"I know you feel alone, but remember, you are never alone because God is always with you."
Why do we do that? Why do we respond to someone's vulnerability and present experience in this way?
We often say such things when we don't know what to say. Or when we really don't care enough to get involved. When we want the tense moment to pass so we can move on. As true as the above reply may be, when used that way we are disrespecting a moment of connection. That person likely presently feels physically and emotionally alone.
Eternal Truths were never to be used like smoke-bomb escape techniques or a magician's trap door. They are to be held as holy and communicated with veneration. We should never say them simply because we don’t know what to say.
When we force "capital 'T'" truths into the "lowercase 't'" truths of someone's present experience we squeeze out their humanity—making both feel like a lie.
Sacred Truths were never meant to cover up or hide the truths of what someone is experiencing in the here and now. It makes a person's present experience feel pointless and meaningless, amplifying loneliness or frustration.
Irreverent to both the Truths we intend to share and the person we
are commanded to love, it's sacrilege. In that respect, more than lame
platitudes, such statements become a new kind of profanity. “Profane”
can be defined as “to treat something sacred with irreverence or
disrespect.”
Why do we do that? Why do we respond to someone's vulnerability and present experience in this way?
We often say such things when we don't know what to say. Or when we really don't care enough to get involved. When we want the tense moment to pass so we can move on. As true as the above reply may be, when used that way we are disrespecting a moment of connection. That person likely presently feels physically and emotionally alone.
Eternal Truths were never to be used like smoke-bomb escape techniques or a magician's trap door. They are to be held as holy and communicated with veneration. We should never say them simply because we don’t know what to say.
Eternal Truths
were never to be used like smoke-bomb escape techniques. We should
never say them simply because we don’t know what to say.
”I Will Pray for You.”
Prayer is far too great an intimately holy gift to reduce to a get-out-of-the-moment free card. Don't say you will if you won't. Pray with them right then. Or ask how you can pray for them.”You Should Read This Verse.”
The Bible is certainly is a Living Word, but proof-texting someone's pain is simply poor form. You should be looking to be living reference to the Truths in Scripture, not using Scripture to pass someone off.”God Has Something Better Planned.”
God does not owe us anything. He may have something far worse in store—and that has to be OK too. There is a reason Job is the oldest book of the Bible. Instead of shifting attention to an unknown future, help them see God at work in the present experience.”God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle.”
That is simply not true. Many experience far more than they can handle alone. Drawn from 1 Corinthians 10:13, not only is this verse specifically about temptation but has a corporate context. Sometimes people need help. If you find yourself saying this they are probably asking for help from you.”You are Not Alone Because God is Always With You.”
Again, true, but if someone is expressing a profound loneliness they are looking to you to help lessen it and learn to know God's sustaining presence. Too much of our theology is dismissive of the here and now. Be present in the moment with them.”Everything Happens for a Reason.”
This well-meaning statement may have become the most "nothing" response to a painful situation. It does not mean anything and is clearly said more to alleviate not knowing what to say than their pain. Resist the urge to dodge the moment or provide something that sounds like an answer. Know that just being there is often enough.When we force "capital 'T'" truths into the "lowercase 't'" truths of someone's present experience we squeeze out their humanity—making both feel like a lie.
Sacred Truths were never meant to cover up or hide the truths of what someone is experiencing in the here and now. It makes a person's present experience feel pointless and meaningless, amplifying loneliness or frustration.
Vulnerable moments are sacred spaces to be treated with the utmost reverence and respect.
Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/what-not-say-when-your-friends-are-hurting#YzCAlOfIdVgL5wuF.99
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