What I learned from the Speakers at WSPD

I put white, aqua, and blue stones and white shells in her jar, representing the water she dove in, with a white smooth larger stone., talked about in Revelations. I filled a little bottle half with sand, for a life half lived, and placed a white heart inside the jar which represents her pure heart. A Pink painful heart seperated by the carvass is mine, tied around the jar outside. We live in two different realms now. Hers is much better.

I had an incredibly busy day yesterday. We started off by going to the podiatrist in Burnaby; a good 45 min drive, in the morning, dental appointment in Langley by 2 pm, where modern technology found all my cavities I didn't even knew I had, then off to World Suicide Prevention meeting in the evening where we made adorable lanterns in Memory of our Loved ones.
However, the most beneficial and healing support for me was the speakers. A father, who lost a daughter 18 years ago impressed to us that we tend to blame the vast inadequacy  in the medical system initially, then the friends or relatives who did not alert us to our loved ones mental health, and lastly blaming ourselves for what we have not done. Hopefully, after living with the guilt, we channel this anger into action if we are able to. Start a support group, become an advocate in the community or some other form of endeavour. According to a line in a movie, what is worse than guilt is  not being able to do something about the outcome of a loss. I hope I quoted that someone correctly. Life moves on, the pain never leaves. He got angry with God also. His wife for 7 years was not able to do much; that is her story to tell he said to the audience.
Then the lady in my previous blog spoke; Rachel Fehr. She agreed with the gentleman's speech. She said that medical doctors have no knowledge of mental health at all. If you want service, throw a fit at one of the hospitals, because funds are so limited. This is one way to get a diagnosis she told the audience. She has attempted suicide many times in her life. Her father took his life when she was just one years old. Her sister who was a nurse at Royal Columbian hospital took her life due to abuse. She lost her children to the system because of her borderline personality disorder which manifests like some of every mental health issue possible. She was not able to get a job despite 600 interviews. Today, she has had her children back for 7 years. No judge was going to take her kids away she said to me at the table once her speech concluded. There is a program at SMH where you self refer yourself, and it is incredible. I must try to get the name. Vancouver General Hospital also has some really good resources. She made sure that she would end the lineage of suicide in her family. She is a tower of strength and knowledge. She stood there with a cane speaking shakily to the listeners. You can befriend her on facebook. Rachel Fehr (German heritage)