Half a Year has Passed

Half a year has passed yesterday on the 18th that our beloved Deborah took her life, that Monday evening. We are still not able to deal with it emotionally. Some of us are locking themselves in their bedroom, others are keeping so busy that they must put the emotions on a back burner. Health is failing more and more for some of us, and we seem to be fading in our effectiveness to minister and be used by God. We are just surviving if you know what I mean. Reaching out to others has become less and less of an ability or desire. We seem to be shadows existing in a world that isn't real.
I woke up on the 18th restless in bed. After tossing and turning for at least an hour, I looked outside my bedroom window, on the second floor of our home, and to the east, a very brilliant pink sky filled the sky. It was rippling dark pink mixed with the blues. It was crackling pink, I've not seen before here on the west coast.  Later when I thought of photographing it, as I don't have a fancy phone, the hues blended more, and the pink was less visible, but I can include that photo in my blog. Deborah loved pink.

As I and my husband stood over the graveside for a few minutes, we stood there in disbelief, praying silently. Looking at the picture I took of her flowers a sister had sent, I am thinking that it is Deborah, in the real world, and we live in the shadows. You can see our shadow on the grass, and Deborah is in reality, one with the Lord. As one verse says, and I'm paraphrasing, (to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord). We only see the natural, not the supernatural, and that is where she is now residing. In fact we are left in an unreal world, the one that is passing, and is full of so much hate.

I am really struggling with all the hate that is in this world, like Jesus said, it has become loveless in the last days. People seem to be indifferent. That is the true opposite of love; indifference, not as some people are under the impression; that the opposite of love is fear.

 It so happened that yesterday, we had a lady friend and her husband stop by with some cat food, that they have no need for. Her husband is awaiting major surgery for skin cancer on his head. She too, cannot wait for the Lord's return. Remarkably, today being Chinese New Years, I just found out that it is the year of the sheep.  Can you believe it? I never recall a "year of the sheep", I remember rats, goats and pigs or ?? but never sheep. Perhaps somehow in a very discreet way, they too know, that the perfect Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world is returning, perhaps this year. John 3:16.

This photo was taken when the sunrise already occurred, much less brilliant than what I saw.