Mom & Deborah

Letter Continued

Letter from Hon. Rona Ambrose

Letting Go

It has been a very busy week indeed.  Monday through Wednesday I was in Lynwood, at the Hampton Inn. I had no idea that it is really the Hilton. I was a guest and I had the best time ever shopping, enjoying nice meals included with out stay and watching a movie in the comfort of our sparkling white two queen size beds. The fees included breakfast and a dinner  till seven o'clock; with some wine. Apparently, only this Hampton Inn offers the dinner also, so one night we rushed back from Macey's in order to get a meal before retiring for the night. I had no idea that some people make regular trips in order to capitalize on purchases that are unique, and on sale. We stopped by multitudes of bridal consignment shops looking for veils, and flower girl dresses, as well as a dress for me. We stopped by many craft stores, to find the perfect silk flowers for the wedding, and stores such as Fred and Myers.
The lady I went with assisted me getting in and out of dresses I tried on, and I felt really good about the dress I bought. The price was right too. A dress that was held for me here in Belissima's I returned, as they had no return policy. Once the dress is taken out of the store, it is yours to keep forever... and ever. The way it was explained to me was that upon ordering the dress from another store I had 7 days to return it. What I found out later was that I had seven days to pick it up. So shoppers beware....
 I bought shoes for my two daughters who will be bridesmaids, flat, and beige pink in colour. I even found a tall suit for my husband, but unfortunately I may have to take it back as the alterations cost a fortune. Norstrum Rack is where I found it, and they include one hundred dollars for tailoring, but that would mean two trips to the near Seattle area of Washington, almost 2 hours drive, plus the border crossing time. My friend was right. Shopping is hard work. One constantly thinks how things might work out better, cheaper and even more nicer.  Sadly, the veil, and flowers we were not found. Many of the flowers had green or yellow hues, and the veils were either too long or too short. I don't think I can ever cover the terrain we did in two and a half days in my lifetime, but I learned how the wise shop. My friend even had the hotel staff print out direction to all the consignment stores before we headed out. One little glitch was a parking ticket, as our meter expired by a few minutes. Thankfully, it wasn't a big one.

Today the invitation cards arrived. I am amazed that my daughter and her fiance have arranged this whole event in such a short time. Six months to plan a wedding is almost a marathon now days, and they are continuing their studies and work full time. The wedding ring for the groom is yet to be determined as he would like to have a very special one. In our humble situation, the parents of the couple are not able to assist much with this blessed event. It is the couple whose sweat is imprinted in the fabric of their hearts desire. They want it a reality and they are working towards it. In some situations, it is the parents who are able to take the lead and plan and finance the wedding. This too is commendable, in that case I would encourage the bride and groom to just accept graciously, and be thrilled with the enthusiasm of the parents. After all, it is a huge cost saving for a young couple just setting out. Even when a different style of wedding would have been much more preferred, such as a destination wedding, remember that you will have that opportunity to travel in the future. I'm reminded that it is more blessed to give then to receive, so treat it as a gift you are giving your parents to bless you.
I remember baptizing one of my daughters as a baby. I knew that such a step has to be taken by an individual as an adult, but I allowed it to go ahead anyways, to give comfort to my mom. The "holy water" didn't help or hurt my daughter, but it gave joy to my mom that it was done.  Life is way to complicated to fret over little things. We must try to let go, and receive even the smallest things with kindness and gratitude. For instance, just today, as I took my daughter to the mechanic to pick up her car, our dear mechanic of many years offered his sympathy and disbelief over the loss of our daughter. Sitting in the car seat, I reached out for his hand and held it for a moment, shook it, and acknowledged what he said in silence. So much better than texting, don't you think? These human connections, must continue to be done with grace and kindness in mind. Deborah's birthday is fast approaching in mid March, and we are bracing ourselves for more pain and sorrow.

Sabrina Benaim - "Explaining My Depression to My Mother"

Middle School- Two Suicides

Middle school faces second student suicide in a week

UPDATED 6:25 PM CST Feb 24, 2015

URBANDALE, Iowa —For the second time in just a week, a student has died by suicide at Urbandale Middle School.

The two students were 12 and 14-year-old girls.
Superintendent Dr. Doug Stillwell told KCCI that in his 35 years in education, he's never dealt with anything like this.
The district is bringing together a crisis team and counselors from other schools. They're also reaching out to community groups who can offer services to students.
Child psychiatrist Dr. Donner Dewdney has dealt with this before and said all parents should keep an eye out for precursors to suicide, like depression.
“If your child's self-esteem is starting to drop, it shows up in a temper outburst. He becomes more irritable [and it] shows up in grades,” Dewdney said.
Dewdney said the best prevention of suicide is to talk to children or teens about it, focusing on its finality and positive alternatives, rather than its drama.
“It sends a message through to other kids who feel like nobody pays attention to them. That this is a neat, new way to get people to think about you as important,” Dewdney said.
Now that the worst has already happened in Urbandale, he said the main point for those close to the girls is to remember that “they're not responsible. That it's not their fault. They're not to blame.”
An Urbandale police investigation found no evidence of bullying in the first student's death, and authorities are continuing to investigate the second death.
Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death for 5 to 14-year-olds and it's much higher for older teenagers.
If you hear someone mention suicidal thoughts, you should always take it seriously and seek professional help.

Love for Pets and Carpets

Since the last three years or so of our lives, we have been surrounded by pets. They make a mess, they're hungry, thirsty, need brushing, housing. They make a mess in the yard and in the kitty litter. They cost, but we love them.
Tonight, I went to Target, to get additional carpets for the floor, so my engineered cherry hardwood floor would not be destroyed, unintentionally of course. Even though, we bought a scratching post for Moonshine, Deborah's cat, it is just not enough. She roams our floors, and I had some slippery cheap carpets all over the hallways, that kept moving under our feet. Being aware that falls are a common, tragic occurrence among older people, I wanted to make sure that we don't slip on one of these throw carpets. A broken hip for the elderly can mean death according to one doctor I spoke with. The last thing we need is for someone to break a leg or a hip, while trying to protect our floor. I got some really cool wool carpets and runners made of Jute (please don't ask me what that is, but it seems like a natural fiber) Of course not many of my carpets match, because the ones on sale are generally limited. The colour in one, reminded me of Deborah's vibrant personality, and I just had to have it. There I go again, impulsive shopping at Target. I hope the Lord will forgive me. My husband didn't seem to mind, as he knows we will have many years of valuable use out of them, if the Lord tarries.

Body found in the Columbia River

My daughter has brought this article to my attention. There have been many reports in the Vancouver Sun also, about bodies being found in various places.

The Canadian Press
Published Friday, February 20, 2015 9:05PM EST

GOLDEN, B.C. -- Members of an RCMP dive team have recovered the body of a missing 27-year-old Alberta man from the Columbia River in eastern British Columbia.
RCMP Const. Spencer Lainchbury says Taylor Oelrich was on a ski trip with friends and was staying at a lodge in Golden, B.C., when he was reported missing to police on Sunday.
He says volunteer search-and-rescue members were patrolling the river Wednesday when they noticed a hole in the ice near Oelrich's lodge.
Lainchbury says RCMP divers and search-and-rescue volunteers recovered his body from the river Thursday afternoon.
Police do not suspect foul play, and the coroner's service is investigating the death.
Oelrich is originally from Kelowna but had been living in Alberta.

Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/rcmp-divers-recover-body-of-alberta-man-from-columbia-river-in-b-c-1.2246624#ixzz3SXROukCo

The Year of the Goat?

Some of my English as a Second Language students correctly corrected me by saying that it is not the year of the sheep as some people are reporting on the news but in fact the year of the goat. The goat is always the imitation of the sheep. I shared with my class that I know of a Lamb, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. I mentioned to them in basic English; that man is on one side with his sinful nature, and God is on the other side, who is Holy in every way. The big cliff or crevasse separating each other is not passable, and that is why we need the Saviour, the Lamb of God between God and man to be the go between redeemer. I illustrated to my class that even a baby is a sinner, how they cry, and cry sometimes for no reason, and how even I have impure thoughts at times, and am full of things not pleasing to God. I showed them my age spots, and how blemished I am, but Jesus has no blemishes. He is perfect without spot or wrinkle. I further explained by drawing a cross in the crevasse on the blackboard which united man with God, only because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. The Mediator between God and man is explained in more detail at this website.


http://sanfernandochurchofchrist.com/SermonView.aspx?ID=864

(If indeed, this is the year of the goat, then that could mean that the opposite of the lamb will come and take authority for a short time, but we who are disciples and followers of Jesus will no longer be here, as we are going to a wedding in the sky.) My readers can ask me more about this if they like. 

I told my friends class about the four blood moons that are indicators of something big, and how they fall on the Jewish feasts. They were interested to note that four blood moons  occurring on a Jewish Feast day, are astronomically uncommon.  Being a Shemittah year too, a year of release from bondage, financial pressure, pressure of any kind is also what 2014-2015 is known for in the Jewish calendar. The last time we had four blood moons was in 1966, during the six day war when Israel obtained Jerusalem, and before that in 1947 when Israel got their nation.

Pray for Zion by
http://www.pray4zion.org/TheComingShemitahJubileeYear57745.html

 Acknoledgements to

Alf & Julie Saunders

01st September, 2014
 

The Coming Shemitah 5775 (2014/5) & Jubilee Year 5776 (2015/6)

Shalom Partner and Friend of Israel,

The next "Shemitah" or "Biblical Sabbatical Year" runs from:

September 25, 2014 until… September 13, 2015.

While many assume when God created the Sun and the Moon that He did so for light, heat, gravity, and other natural mechanisms, when looking at Genesis 1:14, we learn of four other purposes behind why the lights in the heavens were created and placed where they are.

The Bible says these are for "signs," "seasons," "days," and "years." The Hebrew word for "signs" in this context is owth, a word meaning a "miraculous sign," "omen," or "warning." It signifies, among other things, that God created the heavenly bodies to communicate important matters at particular times to His covenant people. The next reason God created the sun and the moon is for "seasons." Again, in our Western mindset, we figure God is talking about… winter, spring, summer, and autumn (fall). This is the farthest from the truth. In Hebrew, the word here is "mow’ed" and is accurately translated as "an appointed time" or "divine appointment" especially related to "sacred seasons" or Feast days. This same Hebrew word is translated into English in Leviticus 23 as "feast" where it talks about the "Feasts of the Lord."

At first, these two words; "appointments" and "feasts" seem about as far apart as you can get. This is why one needs to keep the Hebrew language in perspective so as not to miss the deeper conveyances of this text. The word "mow’ed" implies that God has a "day timer" or "calendar" on which He keeps predetermined "appointments" with human history and that are connected with "His Feasts or Holy Days." God the Father knew the year, the month, the day, and the exact time His Son, Yeshua (Jesus) would die and how this event would be played out in fulfilment of the Levitical feasts of Israel.  Finally, God declares that the sun and the moon were created to determine "days and years." Obviously, this has nothing to do with our modern Gregorian calendar, which was created by a pagan Roman ruler and is based on the sun. The Muslim calendar is based on the moon. But the Biblical calendar… the one that God uses according to Genesis is based on the sun and the moon. So when the Scripture refers to "days and years" in Genesis 1:14, it is pointing to "Biblical days and years" or "holy days" as well as Shemitah years and Jubilee years (every seventh year the land in Israel was to rest).

What is a Shemitah Year…? The Shemitah Year is the seventh year of the seven-year agricultural cycle mandated by the Torah for the Land of Israel and still observed in contemporary Judaism. When Moses received the Levitical law, God gave the commandment to rest on the seventh day… the Sabbath. Moses also applied the cycles of "seven" to weeks and years. A cycle of seven weeks points to the 50th day, called Pentecost. And a cycle of seven sets of seven years points to the 50th year, the year of Jubilee. The year of Jubilee is based on letting the land rest every seventh year as follows; "For six years sow your fields, and for six years prune your vineyards and gather their crops. But in the seventh year the land is to have a Sabbath of rest, a Sabbath to the Lord." (Leviticus 25:3-4)

Leviticus 25 promises bountiful harvests to those who observe the Shemitah, and describes its observance as a test of religious faith.

The Hebrew people count and observe 7 year cycles. Every cycle would fulfill a "Sabbatical Year known as a "Shemitah" or "Shmitah" and means, "to release!"

“At the end of every seven years you shall grant a release. And this is the manner of the release: every creditor shall release what he has lent to his neighbour. He shall not exact it of his neighbour, his brother, because the LORD’S RELEASE has been proclaimed….” Deuteronomy 15:1-4 Reading this Scripture further promises… many blessings!

The Mystery of the Shemitah… As the prophets gazed out at the ruins of ancient Israel, they realized that there was a mystery to the timing of God’s judgment! That mystery centred on the Biblical Shemitah. Every seventh year, the “Shemitah, or Sabbath Year,” would cause the land to rest, when sowing and reaping, buying and selling would come to a standstill. The Shemitah was unique in that it specifically affected the nation’s economic and financial realms — wiping out all accounts of credit and debt. For the nation that departs from God, the Shemitah becomes a sign of judgment. The year of Shemitah reaches its culmination on the last day of the Hebrew year. (The Harbinger - Jonathan Cahn)

What happened in the last two Shemitah years…? The Shemitah year of 2001… America was attacked by radical Islamic terrorists killing nearly three thousand people on 9/11 and this sad day became America's new day of… discredit and humiliation!

The Shemitah year of 2008… America experienced a stock market crash on September 29 when the market fell 777 points in one day. It was the greatest one-day decline in the history of Wall Street. All this happening on the 29th of Elul which is the day preceding the 7th month (Tishri) on the Hebrew calendar, in the 7th year of the Jewish Shemitah, on the 7 year anniversary of the previous record Dow drop which also happened on the 29th of Elul on the Hebrew calendar, (the day before the 7th month) on the previous 7 year Jewish Shemitah.

Just as the crash of the stock markets of 2008 was also the aftershock of 9/11 the extended after-shock correlated with Isaiah 9:10. And, these two events were tied together impossible to unravel… 7 years apart! This too goes deeper still. The Biblical Year isn’t based on the Western Gregorian calendar but on the Hebrew Lunar calendar. So the 7 year cycle of the Shemitah has to be based not on the Western year but on the Hebrew year... So no matter what date it is on the Western calendar the Shemitah will always end on the 29^th day of Elul of the Hebrew calendar and in 2008 it fell exactly on September 29^th the day of the crash. But, in other years the same day in the Biblical calendar would fall on a different day in the Western calendar.

The two greatest stock-market crashes America had ever know, both taking place on the exact Biblical day separated by the exact period of time ordained in the Bible… 7 years to the day… both occurring on the one Biblical day appointed for the wiping out of credit and debt! Coincidence…? We don’t think so… the odds of the events happening over the past 11 years the way that they did without God’s hand being behind it is astronomical. That whole 777 number stuck out since out of all the numbers on the planet to fall, it happened to be that one? So this “Shemitah” must mean something! How are we going to know the signs and seasons of His return or what He expects from us without studying His days? It surely was a message from God.

The Shabbat (Sabbath)… is the foundation of all other Hebrew festivals. God said that the Sabbath was to be a holy day. This simply means a day that is set apart or different from other days. It was set apart as a day of rest.

The Blood Moon Tetrad of 2014 / 2015 coincides with the beginning of the “Shemitah” as well a “Jubilee Year”… which begins this coming Yom Kippur. A Jubilee (50th) year comes after 7 sabbatical cycles of 7 years and is more amazing that a Jubilee convergence with the “Four Blood Moon” all happening together…! 

To understand the Year of Jubilee… one must first be familiar with the Sabbatical Year, which is observed every seventh year (Exodus 23:11; Leviticus 25:20; Deuteronomy 15:9; Nehemiah. 10:31). The Sabbatical Year… is also known as the “Year of Release,” because farming as well as debt payments were released (discontinued) for the year (Deuteronomy 15:1-2; 31:10). This was initiated at the closing of the Feast of Atonement. Year of Jubilee’… timing was to years (50) what the timing of Feast of Weeks (Shavuot / Pentecost) is to days (50)…the Feast of Weeks (Shavuot / Pentecost) occurs on the 50th day; i.e. the day after seven weeks, plus 1 day after Passover. The Year of Jubilee occurs every 50th year; the year after seven Sabbatical years (49 years) according to Leviticus 25:8-11. The Year of Jubilee begins at the end of 7 Sabbatical years of 7 years, and at the end of the Feast of Atonement / Yom Kippur per Leviticus 25:9. Jewish historian, Josephus believed that the word denoted “liberty!” (Antiquities of the Jews 3.12.3)

So then what is a Jubilee Year…? By adding together seven cycles of seven years, we count a total of 49 years. Therefore, the year of Jubilee is the 50th year as noted by the following verses… “You are also to count off seven Sabbaths of years for yourself, seven times seven years, so that you have the time of the seven Sabbaths of years, namely, forty-nine years. You shall then sound a ram’s horn abroad on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) you shall sound a horn all through your land. You shall thus consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim a release through the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you, and each of you shall return to his own property, and each of you shall return to his family,” Leviticus. 25:8-10.

Heroes sung by Deborah

 

A family friend brought over his karaoke machine, and Deborah sang the song Heroes with him. These are warm memories of good times in 2014. This is the first time it has been shared. May Jesus be our hero forever as we await His soon return. Maranatha.

Two Day Camp

Half a Year has Passed

Half a year has passed yesterday on the 18th that our beloved Deborah took her life, that Monday evening. We are still not able to deal with it emotionally. Some of us are locking themselves in their bedroom, others are keeping so busy that they must put the emotions on a back burner. Health is failing more and more for some of us, and we seem to be fading in our effectiveness to minister and be used by God. We are just surviving if you know what I mean. Reaching out to others has become less and less of an ability or desire. We seem to be shadows existing in a world that isn't real.
I woke up on the 18th restless in bed. After tossing and turning for at least an hour, I looked outside my bedroom window, on the second floor of our home, and to the east, a very brilliant pink sky filled the sky. It was rippling dark pink mixed with the blues. It was crackling pink, I've not seen before here on the west coast.  Later when I thought of photographing it, as I don't have a fancy phone, the hues blended more, and the pink was less visible, but I can include that photo in my blog. Deborah loved pink.

As I and my husband stood over the graveside for a few minutes, we stood there in disbelief, praying silently. Looking at the picture I took of her flowers a sister had sent, I am thinking that it is Deborah, in the real world, and we live in the shadows. You can see our shadow on the grass, and Deborah is in reality, one with the Lord. As one verse says, and I'm paraphrasing, (to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord). We only see the natural, not the supernatural, and that is where she is now residing. In fact we are left in an unreal world, the one that is passing, and is full of so much hate.

I am really struggling with all the hate that is in this world, like Jesus said, it has become loveless in the last days. People seem to be indifferent. That is the true opposite of love; indifference, not as some people are under the impression; that the opposite of love is fear.

 It so happened that yesterday, we had a lady friend and her husband stop by with some cat food, that they have no need for. Her husband is awaiting major surgery for skin cancer on his head. She too, cannot wait for the Lord's return. Remarkably, today being Chinese New Years, I just found out that it is the year of the sheep.  Can you believe it? I never recall a "year of the sheep", I remember rats, goats and pigs or ?? but never sheep. Perhaps somehow in a very discreet way, they too know, that the perfect Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world is returning, perhaps this year. John 3:16.

This photo was taken when the sunrise already occurred, much less brilliant than what I saw.

Wedding Dress Auction at Able Auctions

I just thought with all the pending weddings coming up in the summer I would share a few encouraging websites. I am happy to report that all the bridesmaids  purchased their dresses today, and even better: the dresses will be here on time, with a few weeks to make necessary alterations. Blush pink will be the colour. Now off to get the shoes.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM9EIbHRSh0&app=desktop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECvWko7OXnU

Below are the English words to the song, in case you do not speak Hebrew.

"Come in peace, crown of your husband, with rejoicing​ and with cheerfuln​ess, in the midst of the faithful of the chosen people: come, O bride; come, O bride (the Sabbath Queen).  AND Blessed are You, God, who lights the world with happiness and contentment, love and companionship, peace and friendship, bridegroom and bride. Let the mountains of Israel dance! Let the gates of Jerusalem ring with the sounds of joy, song, merriment and delight – the voice of he groom and the voice of the bride, the happy shouts of their friends and companions. We bless you God, who brings bride and groom together to rejoice in each other."

   

 Say yes to the 25-cent dress: Langley auction house has plenty of dresses for bargain-hunting brides

 

By Cheryl Chan, The Province February 12, 2015
 

Linda Dodd of Able Auctions in Langley shows off wedding dresses that go on the block Saturday. Bidding starts at 25 cents.

Photograph by: Arlen Redekop , Province

When it comes to shopping for a wedding dress, brides and budgets are rarely a match made in heaven.
But a Langley auction house is hoping to change that with an unusual Valentine’s Day offering: 300 new wedding dresses for sale, with bids starting at 25 cents.
Able Auction’s warehouse won’t be like Kleinfeld in an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, but operations manager Linda Dodd promises a fun, high-energy shopping experience on Saturday with plenty of bargains.
The auction “will bring out the bargain hunter, people working with a budget who have an eye on a fun wedding, and adventurous brides who are not afraid of a challenge,” said Dodd.
“This will give an opportunity for brides who couldn’t get all the embellishments they wanted, or that statement piece with the long train.”
The auction will also appeal to brides who don’t want to splurge on an expensive dress because they want to do a post-wedding trash the dress photo session, noted Dodd.
Able Auctions acquired the dresses from two separate bridal stores that were liquidating their stock.
The gowns are new with retail prices ranging from about $600 to $3,500, with no reserve price.
On Wednesday, the dresses, already tagged with their lot numbers, hung in neat rows in a Langley warehouse.
They range from poufy princess-style gowns to sleek numbers and shorter frocks. There’s taffeta and tulle galore, ribbons and floral embellishments, corsets and lace trains. The bulk of the gowns are size 6 to 14.
Bidding on the bridal bonanza has already started online, where the dresses are listed with photos, their size and retail value. More than 100 people have registered to bid online.
The auction will be held at the Langley warehouse Saturday, and online simultaneously, with the system updating the bidding in real time.
Interested brides-to-be are invited to drop by a preview on Friday to browse or try on dresses, since no fittings are allowed on auction day.
The dresses will likely not be perfect off-the-rack for many brides, said Dodd.
“Some of them are samples, and they’re not all perfect, but they’re beautiful,” she said, adding a seamstress will also be on hand on Friday to give potential bidders an idea of what alterations could cost.
Other wedding accoutrements will be on the auctioneer’s block, including some engagement rings, mother-of-the-bride outfits, and garb for flower girls and ring bearers. There are also about 150 formal evening gowns for sale.
The frou-frou confections are a far cry from what Able Auctions usually sells — cars, boats, office equipment, and machinery. It’s the company’s first time delving into the wedding-dress business, but likely not their last.
“We’re excited to expand what we do, and how we do it,” said Dodd. “We just think it’s going to be fun.”

 Sorry for the late notice with the article below, but keep your eyes open for other great dress auctions;   sounds like they will be repeating this one!!!

Immigration Detainees at Vancouver Airport

 The story below is about an immigration detainee who committed suicide at the Vancouver airport while she was waiting for the decision of the officers. Sadly, very little has changed since the recommendations have been put in place. The article below was found in the Vancouver Sun, but I got a glimpse of this in the evening news, so I thought I'd share with my readers..

 

  Immigration detainees still being held in ‘prison-like conditions’ at Vancouver airport.

CBSA failing to act on Jimenez inquest recommendations, advocates say

By Tara Carman, Vancouver Sun February 12, 2015

 Story

• Photos ( 2 )

File photo of protesters carrying signs last year calling for independent investigation into Lucia Vega Jimenez’s death.

Photograph by: Arlen Redekop , PNG

METRO VANCOUVER -- The Canada Border Services Agency is ignoring the recommendations of a coroner’s jury concerning treatment of immigration detainees, and doing so with impunity because it is not subject to independent oversight, a group of refugee advocates said Thursday.
The jury at the coroner’s inquest into the 2013 suicide of Lucia Vega Jimenez at the CBSA’s Vancouver airport holding centre made a number of recommendations last October.
This included moving the immigration holding centre to an above-ground location staffed by CBSA personnel, giving detainees access to lawyers, family members and community groups, improved access to telephone and Internet service, using handcuffs and shackles only when necessary, and establishing a civilian oversight body to investigate critical incidents in CBSA custody.
While the CBSA has made some renovations to its Vancouver holding centre to reduce the risk of suicide and placed an officer on site part-time, it has taken no action on any of the jury’s recommendations that would improve detention conditions and may in fact be making them worse, said Janet Dench, executive director of the Canadian Council for Refugees.
Dench spoke as part of a coalition of advocacy groups, which included the Canadian Association of Refugee Lawyers, the BC Civil Liberties Association and the Latinos in Action Society, to draw attention to the issue.
“Immigration detainees are not criminals. They should not be held in prison-like conditions. So we were concerned to learn that recently CBSA has established a new national requirement to have common bathrooms in detention centres as a response to the death of Ms. Vega Jimenez,” Dench said, noting that this will require major, expensive renovations or the physical moving of the CBSA’s Toronto holding centre, which will be the first to undergo the change.
Josh Paterson of the BC Civil Liberties Association noted that no steps have been taken toward creating an independent oversight body for the CBSA, there are no plans to build a new immigration holding centre in Vancouver and that the federal government recently put the private security contract for the airport holding centre back out to tender.
“The inquest evidence made clear that the Vancouver airport immigration holding centre has been plagued with problems and fails to meet basic international human rights standards,” Paterson said. “Instead of doubling down on a broken system, it’s time for CBSA and the federal government to shut the airport holding centre down.”
Rocco Trigueros, of the group Mexicans Living in Vancouver, said he has been trying for months to set up a meeting with CBSA personnel to discuss how Vancouver’s Latino community can help detainees, with no success.
The CBSA did not respond to a request for comment by deadline.
tcarman@vancouversun.com
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Happy Valentines Day

"Happy Valentines Day"

heart emoticon

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;...
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For,
May your arms Never Tire.”
― D. Simone

Deborah Amidst the Daisies

Deborah amidst the daisies and the raspberries.

Your Cat might Be Driving You Crazy

Your cat might be driving you crazy

 "What research says about cats:  they're selfish, unfeeling, environmentally harmful creatures."

Updated by Joseph Stromberg Oct 16, 2014. Written in the Vox Tuesday February 10, 2015.

A cyst filled with Toxoplasma gondii parasites, as seen in a mouse brain. (Jitinder P. Dubey)

Finally, there's the weird, unsettling connection between cats, a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii, and litter boxes.
This parasite can infect pretty much any sort of animal — including humans — but it can only sexually reproduce when inside the intestines of cats. In order to get there, it's been found to alter the behavior of infected rodents, making them less fearful of predators. In other words, when T. gondii gets picked up by a mouse, it increases the chance that the mouse will get eaten by a cat, so the parasite can reproduce once again.
This may seem bizarre enough, but over the past few years, some scientists have begun to suspect that the parasites alter human behavior in a similar way. Humans often pick up T. gondii from handling cats' litter boxes (because the parasites can be found in their feces), and there's an increasing amount of evidence that the resulting long-term, latent infection can subtly change a person's personality over time.
When parasites found in cat litter infect humans, they seem to subtly change personality over time
Of course, we're not rodents, so the parasites aren't successful in getting us eaten by cats. But the actual consequences are just as troubling. People who have been infected have greater rates of neuroticism and schizophrenia, and have slower reflex times in lab experiments. As a result, it seems, they get into traffic accidents more often. There's evidence that they have higher rates of suicide. All this, it seems, are unintended results of the parasite's ability to alter a mouse's brain to increase the chance of predation.
Now, everyone who owns a cat doesn't get infected by T. gondii, and there are other ways of getting the parasite (like eating undercooked meat). And the infection itself doesn't seem to cause these behavioral changes in everyone — they just occur at slightly higher rates among the millions of people worldwide who are infected.
Still, if you needed one more reason not to house an animal that doesn't love you, manipulates your emotions to get food, and helps to eradicate endangered species, it's a pretty damn good one.
Further reading: Kathleen McAuliffe's eye-opening article in the Atlantic: How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy
Further viewing: 3 ways society gives an unfair advantage to good-looking people

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Update: This article previously stated the original estimate that cats kill 1.4 to 3.7 billion birds annually but didn't note the subsequent criticism of that number.

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Toxoplasma gondii antibody titers and history of suicide attempts in patients with recurrent mood disorders.

Arling TA¹, Yolken RH, Lapidus M, Langenberg P, Dickerson FB, Zimmerman SA, Balis T, Cabassa JA, Scrandis DA, Tonelli LH, Postolache TT.

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Abstract

Toxoplasma gondii (T.gondii) is an obligate intracellular protozoan parasite infecting one-third of the world population, residing relatively silently in the brain of the immunocompetent host. We hypothesized that T.gondii seropositivity and serointensity are associated with having a history of attempting suicide and, in those attempting suicide, a greater number of attempts. T.gondii seropositivity and antibody titers were compared between (a) patients with recurrent mood disorders with history of suicide attempt (99 individuals) versus (b) patients with recurrent mood disorders without history of suicide attempt (119 individuals), and (c) healthy controls (39 individuals). Diagnosis was made using the Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-IV. Statistical methods included chi square, analysis of variance, and linear and logistic regression analyses. Suicide attempters had higher T.gondii antibody titers than nonsuicide attempters (p = 0.004). The logistic regression analysis revealed a predictive association between titers of anti- T.gondii antibodies and history of suicide attempt with OR = 1.55 (1.14-2.12), p = 0.006. No significant relationship was found between T.gondii seropositivity and suicide attempt status, number of prior suicide attempts, and recurrent mood disorder diagnosis. Although preliminary and bearing replication, this is the first report, to our knowledge, of an association between attempting suicide and T. gondii.

Dress Shopping

As you probably all know, my daughter has found her wedding dress. There is about three months to the wedding.   Now it is only I and the five bridesmaids who need their dresses as well as the suits needed to be purchased by the groomsmen. This is an awsome task in itself, and thankfully the bride to be, has a reading week at university, so she can devote more time to her wedding planning. I think I found the dress too, but I am not willing to pay the price they are asking for it. I must keep searching. The wedding being in early June, I expect the weather to be still a little cooler, and I might be able to get away with a long dress. In one booth when I went shopping alone, I was trapped in one of those many layered dresses.  The cubicle was the size or smaller of one of those pop up toilets at a construction site. There was tul, and more tul, and when I attempted to pull it off me via my shoulders, the dress was stuck. I was contemplating for five minutes if I should call the service lady to get the dress off me. After going through the thought process, I sucked everything in, and the dress released, turning inside out at a few places. I was so happy to be released from this ordeal, that I gave up trying to put the dress back on a hanger. Despite tucking it in, here and there, it still looked turned inside out on some of it's layers. I promised myself I will not go shopping alone again.
Unfortunately, a lot of stores did not get in, a selection of holiday/occasional dresses this December, and now I can't seem to find the discounted dresses. I gave up on the idea of altering a dress. The color is too pale, and likely would not photograph well. I am trying to drink lots of water, as a friend thinks I am dehydrated.  If that is the case, my size may alter in three months. You never know. So with all these if's.. there is one thing constant, and it is the love of God.
I was enchanted to hear one person explain ,who, in fact, is going to the wedding in Heaven. He started off by saying that a person who is pregnant has visible changes occurring in their bodies. There are visible signs to see whether or not a person  is a follower of Jesus. A person can't be pregnant and not start showing growth in their belly. So, we know that the Bride; that is the perfected saints cannot be sleeping when the Bridegroom arrives. The bride remains in her bride chamber. Then the servant takes the bride and they go to the wedding.  The bridegrooms friends are going, the bride ( the perfected saints ) and the bride's party is going; those who are born again, showing signs of growth but not perfected. This group will be greatly disappointed as they could have sought to be perfected but for whatever reason they remained stagnant in their walk with God. Finally, the Jew's will be going-the Bridegroom's party. As the bride, we either seek the beauty of Jesus or the blessings He is awaiting to give us. It is better to seek Jesus for His beauty. Before we die, our purpose has to be fulfilled, as we have to go back to our Maker and give account of our lives to Him.  We cannot be "Christians" for 35 years and be found sleeping. Ten years of our lives, we simply as a rule sleep and eat.  We must walk the talk, in humility.

Mourners Bill of Rights

I just thought I'd share this with you. I had no idea  regarding this Bill of Rights until another grieving mom brought this to my attention.

The Mourner's Bill of Rights
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Though you should reach out to others as you do the work of mourning, you should not feel obligated to accept the unhelpful responses you may receive from some people. You are the one who is grieving, and as such, you have certain "rights" no one should try to take away from you.

The following list is intended both to empower you to heal and to decide how others can and cannot help. This is not to discourage you from reaching out to others for help, but rather to assist you in distinguishing useful responses from hurtful ones.

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don't allow them to tell what you should or should not be feeling.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief. If at times you don't feel like talking, you also have the right to be silent.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into doing things you don't feel ready to do.
5. You have the right to experience "griefbursts."
Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More importantly, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you the funeral or other healing rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
You may find yourself asking, "Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?" Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, "It was God's will" or "Think of what you have to be thankful for" are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.
Copyright 2007-2013, Center for Loss and Life Transition

Homemaking

I have gone to church by myself today. Thankfully, Deborah's friend who wrote in my blog met me there. We learned that our problems should not define who we are, and that there is no victory without some problems that we experienced. Our identity is more than our wounds or problems. IT IS NOT THE SUM OF OUR BROKENNESS. It has been difficult, to sing, and not hear her voice beside me.  So many things, including her bible which I took with me, are a constant reminder of her.  I've learned that  I still have love, joy, hope and power to share with those who are without.  I wonder if she was amongst us, if she would have a boyfriend by now. Even though, my family is considered still large by modern standards, I was used to cooking for a bigger family. I miss Deborah not eating my banana cake, soups or whatever. I miss her not being involved and getting her hands dirty building the shed, and removing the rubble, that I know she would have gladly helped us with. Last year she helped me stain an outdoor staircase that we built in the back, picked some strawberries, and cherries with me that we still enjoy, and helped put the bark mulch down in our yard. Though she would indicate some opposition to the suggested activities, she would obviously enjoy doing them once she started.  If my situation is not the end of my story, then God will have to show me what I am to do next.

I have hauled away most of the residual garbage of wood from our back yard. We tried to get a company to do it but a minimum of 200lbs of construction waste was going to cost 120 dollars. I think we saved about six hundred dollars by loading up our own SUV, and dumping it ourselves. Today, after church me and my husband were vacuuming, and washing the plastic panel in the back of our car.  I still have some large pieces left of the old shed, but the majority of the garbage is gone, and now, we have to get the ground ready for the mulch. I decided against a manicured lawn as it has no purpose other then sun tanning on. I felt that we need the mulch, in order to have the soil ready for planting as times may get really tough, very soon. We can already see what grocery prices are like. Plus, I always enjoyed a garden, and this year, I have sprouted potatoes to put in the ground.

I also heard that doing domestic things are good therapy for the mind, even depression. So, coming home from church, I bought two baked chickens, a container of coleslaw, not creamed, and four pizza doughs, ready made. I engaged the family after we ate one of the chickens and coleslaw to help me make pizza's. Some chopped the peppers and mushrooms, some grated the cheese, and some spread the tomato sauce, and olive oil into the dough. Before you know it, we had four beautiful pizza's for perhaps five dollars a piece. You may wonder what happened to the second chicken, well, I took some of the breast meat , chopped it, and put it on the pizza. We will also have plenty of meat left for chicken sandwiches for the days to come.

Reconciliation Looming

I have some excellent news to share. It has to do with a door that has opened, and hearts that have healed. It is only by the grace of God that I am now on talking terms with my mother. She extended the torch of peace by writing to me first, after many years. Since my father has passed in 2010, we have rarely spoken, and when we did it was a one sided conversation or yelling. It is true, that God will even make your enemies as your friend in His time.

Along side my many years of persecution from my family because of my faith and walk with Jesus, I was the black sheep of the family. It was very lonely, having survived a divorce in my early twenties, a divorce of abandonment by my now ex-international fugitive  husband< (see previous blogs). Then for many reasons, my parents showed great support and affection towards my sister. She was not just geographically closer, but she had a daughter who lived nearby the grandparents, unlike mine who were thousands of miles away. I could never understand why a daughter who was living a life not honoring God was preferred over me.

No matter the history, I had a chance to talk to my mom on the phone on her birthday this February. She seems to carry on a conversation really well, and still lives independently, and drives her own van. I rejoice that she not only shared about her life, but she also was inquisitive about our family. She wishes she could come to the wedding about to take place this summer, but she feels flying would be too much. She will send a gift in the mail, in the meantime for the young couple. She even remembered everyone's birthday with a token of a small gift. She shared how she gets help with her housework, and in the garden. She regrets that her tenant will be moving back to Turkey this summer, and she will be all alone again. What was funny and terrifying at the same time was that she has plans on climbing to the roof top to give orders as to it's repairs. I suggested that at 74 yrs of age, she should not be doing that.

Hike for Hospice

Please mark date on your calendar! It should be a beautiful spring day by then, much different from the rain we are having.

A Place to Chill-May Work in Canada

Image Credit: Getty Images

Why the U.S. Mental Health Care System Needs More Places for People to Just Chill Out

By Theresa Fisher February 05, 2015

On Jan. 18, 2011, Misha Kessler opened the window of his dorm room at George Washington University, where he was a sophomore, climbed onto the window ledge and prepared to jump into the winter night. Kessler had been dealing with anxiety and other mental health issues since the summer. Earlier that day, after a week without sleep, he'd had his first-ever panic attack.

Kessler's lack of control over his own mental state scared him, as did preparing for a six-story free-fall. But the scariest part of that night came later, when he voluntarily went to the emergency room. The prospect of going to the psych ward, to join the real crazy people, Kessler recalls, terrified him more than deliberating suicide.

"I still had the basic idea of a psych ward from TV," he said. "But when I got there, the other people were a lot like me, just experiencing too much stress without the right coping mechanisms."

In the end, he was glad he went. While the process of handing over his personal belongings and donning a hospital gown was by no means pleasant, Kessler knew he needed to get out of his dorm room and put his fate in someone else's hands. In fact, he credits his two-night stay in the psychiatric ward with saving his life. Today, as a suicide prevention specialist, Kessler urges teenagers and young adults who find themselves in a dark place to go get help, even if that means checking in somewhere so they don't check out.

Note: Kessler talks about his suicide attempt in the video below.

A 2013 video in which Misha Kessler talks about his suicide attempt.

Source: Youtube via Misha Kessler

But Kessler ended up at the hospital because he didn't see another option. Emergency rooms are designed to revive trauma victims and pump stomachs, not address mental health crises. Patients who need immediate psychiatric care endure a drawn-out intake process that often involves repeatedly explaining why they're at the ER and waiting hours for beds to free up in a psych unit. It's re-traumatizing, ineffective and expensive. That's why Illinois created  Living Rooms, state-funded, alternative ER centers for mental health crises.

The U.S. has radically shifted its approach to psychiatric care a number of times. During the second half of the 20th century, a policy of deinstitutionalization resulted in the discharge of thousands of mentally ill and developmentally disabled Americans from psychiatric hospitals, many of which subsequently shut down. The policy, though well-intentioned, received criticism for leaving former in-patients to flounder.

Similar criticism resurfaced recently, when studies revealed just how many incarcerated Americans suffer from severe mental illness. At least 15% of state prison inmates have a psychotic disorder. Some argue that the U.S. just shifted the burden — jails are the new mental hospitals. We haven't quite figured out a system of comprehensive mental health care that doesn't infringe on people's basic civil rights.

More Living Rooms may be part of the solution.

Illinois opened the first of its five Living Rooms in 2011 as a non-clinical crisis center for people in the throes of a mental health meltdown. People can drop in to get immediate help and access to resources for longer-term care. A mental health crisis, to use the same definition as The Living Room does, is "a state in which an individual becomes overwhelmed and their usual coping mechanisms are not adequate, which leave them with disorganized thoughts and life processes ... if a crisis state is not properly treated, the condition can quickly escalate, leading to a mental health emergency."

As the name suggests, the centers are supposed to feel more like homes than hospitals. When guests walk into the Living Room, according to a 2014 study published in the journal Issues in Mental Health Nursing, staff members greet them "with open arms" and offer beverages — anything to make them feel at home, supported and in control of their own treatment.

It's really a disarmingly simple idea: Normalize the practice of seeking help and offer people a place to chill out when they feel bad.

Within the mental health field, the Living Room is thought to be a creative approach, according to Ken Duckworth, medical director at the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill.

In addition to keeping doctors and psychiatric nurses on staff, the centers employ peer counselors who have been through, and emerged from, mental health crises themselves. Their presence has proven to be a strength of the Living Room model, according to Living Room coordinator Peter Robichaux. The stubborn stigma surrounding mental illness often makes people hesitant to seek treatment and uncomfortable when they do. Peer counselors get it; they've been there too. As one peer counselor said in the Issues in Mental Health Nursing study, "We're not going to judge you because we are you."

Kessler, who works at the Campbell Center, a D.C.-based nonprofit, says that peer support is a resource in hospitals too. As important as high-quality doctors are, young adults benefit when relatable liaisons enter the picture.

The Living Room model of care jibes with psychiatrist Patrick Corrigan's theory of destigmatization. Corrigan, a researcher at the Illinois Institute of Technology, believes that destigmatizing mental illness hinges on more people coming out as mentally ill. We can learn about the causes and rates of various mood disorders, but living and working alongside people who've openly battled schizophrenia or bipolar disease is ultimately the way to change public perception. Corrigan looks to the gay rights movement for comparison. The movement really took off, he pointed out, when non-straight people became more visible in everyday life.

The Living Room model also helps stretch the state's health care budget. During its first year, the original Living Room had 228 visits from 87 guests, most of them diverted from the ER, which saved upwards of $500,000.

Source: Jon Bradley via Getty/Getty

It's really a disarmingly simple idea: Normalize the practice of seeking help and offer people a place to chill out when they feel bad. And while Illinois' Living Rooms stand out in the U.S., non-clinical mental health care centers are the norm in Australia. In 2006, the Australian government launched Headspace, a national network of fully funded health care centers where Australians between the ages of 12 and 25 go when they're having a tough time. People can stop in whether they're battling ongoing mental illness or just feeling stressed and lonely.

The Living Room approach may be catching on stateside too. Over the past few months, mental health urgent care centers have popped up on both coasts. Los Angeles County officials opened one such center in late 2014 to relieve pressure from county hospitals and jails running low on psychiatric beds. In January, Rhode Island opened its first walk-in mental health urgent care center for similar reasons, according to an AP story. Both facilities seem to skew more clinical than the Living Room, but they fill the same broad purpose: to be there for people who need help and provide services specifically tailored to mental illness. One county supervisor who led the effort in LA, Kaiser Health News reported, described the center as a more humane approach than traditional hospitalization.

It's hard to say that any single service will fix our mental health care system, but based on history, we're willing to make big changes. The Living Room model shows that small changes — a place to go, people to talk to — may be just as important.

Deborah's Boots and the Cat

Today, out of necessity, I went into Deborah's bedroom, and borrowed her cute steel toed size 9.5 work boots. She bought it to be an electrician, and today I needed it to put things in place in our newly constructed shed. The last shelf went in today, and I helped with getting all the items ready for piling in. I can't say these boots are mine, they are borrowed from a daughter dearly loved. Before I stepped in them, the cat noticed it in the hall way, and she smelled it many times, and rubbed her face into the boot over and over again. This was my older daughters cat, named Ava.  It is remarkable how the animal kingdom is so much more sensitive, and also grieves with us. I will post this picture later of the boot and the cat.

It fit my foot like a glove, I felt so secure climbing the ladder to the second shelf while placing light objects there. We have been reading all the highlighted Job 36 verses 5-34, that she underlined. We cry. We rest assured that she is with her Heavenly Father, completely whole, and content. This world had nothing to offer her. Her vision was much more far sighted than our families. Why did she leave us? My husband sleeps in her room now. He is in so much pain, that he feels safe in the room that was hers. He awakes frequently from pain, and he says that simply being there gives him comfort, though he is in such grief, he let it out only now: after months of silence. I will no longer take his absence from our bedroom as a gesture of lack of compassion. Instead, I must grant him what gives him comfort. Time alone, time away, time of solitude even if it is without me.

A friend just told me that in the USA, 1,000 people die daily to suicide, and that over 50 million babies have been aborted. Though the two unrelated, we can see the dire need for God among it's citizens. The need for healing, comfort and reconciliation. Life has to be lived to it's fullest. Without God we are broken, lost, and naked.

There is still plenty to do in the shed, the outside of which we can't finish just yet, until funds are more available, but at least it is useable now.  The rain will continue to be a challenge in getting it organized. I hope to put all my empty suitcases in there also, as we previously had them piled on top of the refrigerator in the garage, until it almost caved over, like in the Cat in the Hat story book.