Before the Funeral-Part 2

There was of course, sweet Lanny, from Prayer Canada here by our side. A daily, presence she was, encouraging either all or each one of us individually. She would pray with us or just talk about anything to keep the sting away from our mind. She would watch the house, and welcome guest, or receive flowers when we were unable to. Her "Sparkling Deborah" poem was created on the 20th of August, totally inspired by the Holy Spirit. From a simple sheet of Deborah's memories that we wrote on a clip board, this magnificent poem was created. I shared it in a September blog.

One day we had to get the funeral plot for Deborah. We all had to go to the funeral home, and choose her plot. That was very difficult, as it was a two day process. The first day we decided how the funeral service would proceed. Would we bring her body straight to the church from the morgue at Royal Columbian, or would we bury her without a church service? Would we simply just have a memorial service where there is no body present? After a long deliberation, we decided to have everything take place on the same day.  The viewing, the service and the burial. We could not stretch it out into two or even possibly a third day, as the latest people are buried we were told was by early afternoon. So upon this deliberation, we went back and chose the plot. It is a beautiful plot near some houses and some deciduous trees. Her location is called "Hyland" at Valley View Cemetery. We filled a golf cart, crying, on our way to the plot.

My daughters can attest to the fact that I have always been opposed to having a dead body brought into the church. My faith tells me that, the person is no longer there, and even Jesus said, let the dead bury the dead. Funeral's should not be the highlight in a believers life. As the living, we should be about our Heavenly Father's business. Like I said, after much deliberation, we decided to have an open casket with the body brought into the church. Under these circumstances,I felt that this would be the necessary thing to do. She was not an old person who has led a full life, who died. There was a need for deep mourning among our community. A life with so much to offer, has disappeared for ever from our midst.

 God preserved her beautifully, no bones broken, no water in her lungs, totally in tact. She may have spent 15 hrs total in the water. What a miracle we found her!! I wanted those who would attend to know, that this was a funeral, and not a memorial service. This was a life that was cut short. I wanted to allow the congregation to visibly say goodbye to her, and to offer some kind of closure as to her short life. I wanted to give opportunity for her friends to put notes in her coffin, I wanted people to visibly see  the finality of life. I respect those who did not want to see her body, and those who sat far away. There were many reasons for individuals to not want to see her. The viewing was only for less than 2 hours. She had on a white lace dress with blue earrings she got from Arne Bryan, she had on her silver graduation sandals, and two hair pins. Upon careful viewing of the body a day before her funeral, we noticed that she only had a small cut on her lip,which was filled in nicely by lipstick by the funeral home. Her body was cold to touch. Her hair was curled, and even tough I asked the funeral home to cut some hair off for our memory, she still had a gorgeous flock of hair. Picking out these items of clothing for the burial was also one of the hardest thing a mother has to  undertake. Her sisters helped me.

My daughter Sarah, arranged the music to be played during the viewing, a beautiful  collection of contemporary and traditional Christian songs.

Great effort was made by one young man Deborah knew since grade three to make the slide picture presentation. He was like a brother to her.  Erica helped sort through thousands of photo's, and chronologically her life was presented in a 9 minute show. The song by Hillsong, "Oceans" was played in the background. Starting from her birth to her toddler years, to her kindergarten age, to elementary school, to high school and beyond was captured. The people she loved, her parents, grandparents, three sisters, her teachers, employers, and friends were all compiled. This was one of the most painstaking assembly of photos that I have ever seen. Hours and hours of work went into this, and we appreciate this young man for his labour of love. A few days before the funeral, we made an appeal for the six pal bearers that would carry her body. They were people Deborah knew from childhood, with the exception of one man who attended her baptism, and was a family friend. There were two brothers, one man Deborah called her "hero", who was also a police officer, a fella who counseled Deborah and did karaoke with and a friend who just got to know our family in the last two years. There were stand-by pall bearers also.

A family with three men, offered to be ushers at the doors. We so appreciated this gesture of kindness, as they called the church and offered to be there. We did not even have to ask.  The over 350 pamphlets disappeared quickly from what I heard. The "Sparkling Deborah" poem was inserted into each one, by our family.

Red and white roses were ordered in large quantity for the day of the funeral. Deborah's only remaining and final request of us was to be fulfilled.