All things work together for good?

"And we know that all things work together for  good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose". Romans 8:32. One wonders how a tragedy like this can work for the good. There is no explanation, blame or answers. There has to be complete surrender, and knowing that God is sovereign. Recently I met a believer in Whistler, who shared with me his story of wanting to be a pilot since childhood. His first words, he told me was not mama and papa, but airplane.  An accident at age 16 crushed any hope of him becoming one. He was in a coma,  had head injury and countless fractures. Nevertheless, God not only made him a pilot, but a navigator of pilots, so he can have more impact over all the pilots.

Yet the questions remains, was it the psychosis caused by months after months of doing dope, and alcohol in grade 12?  Why did my daughters mind got damaged, and not her friends? There have been studies in the Netherlands, Australia and other countries on the side effects of marijuana, one being psychosis. The psychiatrist said that if her psychosis is drug related, it is the better of other options.

 I know she had a few friends she did not do these party nights with, or indulge in alcohol. Others were God fearing Christian girls. Some moved away though, to study abroad, and others had boyfriends. The regular overnight visit to one or two so called friends, I believe, has brought about her demise. This is my motherly sense.  Doing drugs and alcohol were her happy place, she said in her letter to us. How can that be? Was she medicating herself, to dull the pain of living, or of her psychosis? Did she want to overdose on these substances  in order to die? Did some trauma in Mexico leave her without emotion? I asked her once a year or so ago, at what point did you die emotionally? Deborah answered, "that is a good question". She would have some manic outburst, some days were high, others low. At one point she came home drunk, so bad, she could barely walk. She would take chances with her safety, and not tell us where she was going. Friends were inviting her out again, on her phone while in her drunken stupor, only to be intercepted with watchful neighbors, and ourselves. She could not tell us where she was, or who she was with. On occasions she would texts her sisters to pick her up, which was considered a good night.
During grade 12 exams, she struggled with memory retention, and had anxiety from the exams. After grade twelve, the stress of not knowing what she will study became obvious. Curious as we were, we would keep asking. Then in September of last year, she landed a nanny job, loving the work with the children. However, it became too overwhelming for her, busing to work and working eight hour days, looking after two little ones. Marijuana was her substance of choice during this time.

So many water images in the song she played, makes me think that she somehow felt God calling her to jump into the deep waters, into His embrace.  I believe  that God would not hold this against her when she was suffering from a broken mind any more than he would hold it against someone with a broken leg.  Jesus caught her at the moment her feet hit the water. Her sisters remember her saying, she wants to be a bride of Jesus. Yes, all things are good, and she sealed her fate, she baptized herself once and for all.