I keep on Digging trying to find answers

Well, I have a trench along the side of my driveway. My future son-in-law has helped us dig a beautiful trench. Still no bubbles, we don't know where the water is coming from, but the meter keeps going even when the water is shut off. Ofcourse, the work has already put a strain on everyone. Family atmosphere is poisonous. Hurtful words have been shed, and eventhough we have overcome many problems in the past, these old house repairs take a toll on some more than others. Unfortunately, home maintenance is unavoidable. I don't see a resolution, hopefully the plumber will say to keep digging or who knows....Thankfully, the tenant hasn't a worry.
Because it is our family home, where Deborah lived and thrived, and ultimately deteriorated mentally to the point of taking her life, this home matters to us. Her room holds most of her things still almost 3 years later. The student in her room has no idea it was Deborah's room. She hasn't asked. She has not asked why I have 4 daughters in the pictures and why I am missing one. Is it out of courtesy that she does not ask, or plain inattention? I don't know. I don't know what the future holds. I still feel lost, in a daze on certain days. I miss everything about her. I think about the 2 times she said she loved me before she left for work that tragic day. It wasn't obvious that she dressed all in black, with a leggin, and hoody. She got a ride to work that day. She had all her letters written to us. She had all her photo albums completed. She left her favorite diamond ring and telephone behind. How can this happen? How can this be? I longing to hear her voice. I'm longing to ask her WHY?
She was raised in a decent family, 3 loving sisters, Christian school, and church. Counselors, and doctors available to her. Cat's that loved her. She completed her grade 12 with a dual dogwood diploma (French and English) she had her Royal conservatory of music completed. She played the violin. Her personality was robust, kind, gentle, giving. She wanted to be a police officer, but because of her short term psychosis and use of marijuana, she had to be clean for 3 years, so she was accepted to a trades school for electrician's. However, I think her mind was already damaged by then.  I still don't understand almost 3 years later now.. come August. I keep digging trying to find answers, but I dig to no avail.