Sunday, February 3, 2019

I see snow for the first time

Hello, after a long break. Today is the first time when I see snow flurries for the first time. While the rest of  Canada has been in a deep freeze, arctic like temperatures, we have so far been spared of the brittle cold. I was at Deborah's grave side yesterday afternoon. I defied the weather, and put fresh flowers in her vase, knowing very well that it may snow today. She has lilies and roses on her grave. The place of solitude gave me no rest in my spirit. I am still dumbfounded after almost five years as to her choice of taking her own life. I spoke with another mom who has lost her son to suicide, and she too says that she cannot understand IT.
We are all striving to live, be freed of colds, pain, financial hardship, make the bills, live peaceably with all those around us. However, there are those who are in such despair that they have given up on all, and mostly on themselves. The mind has wondered into a place of no return. The ability to reach out and believe that another day will come that is better seems like an illusion to them, unobtainable.
Recently, my friends brother has chosen to swim out into the middle of a cold river. He left his wallet and other important things at home, drove to the lake and started to swim, never to be seen again. The body has not been found. He will be declared a missing person until he is found.
Please, please, whoever you are out there, take care of your mental health. Connect with people. We need each other. No person is an island. You matter. You are loved.

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