The Way she Died will Never Define Her

I suppose many of you are watching the Olympics. Did you see the Olympic torch, that resembles Cern? When I first saw it, that is what I was reminded of. Many of you may be on summer vacation.  Rest is always needed, and sunshine is necessary for our well being. I just heard we need 20 minutes of sunshine a day, or Vitamin D to substitute it. I have lately been given the green light to consume as much pain medication as I need for my chronic pain of my bones grinding together. After surgery, it will turn into acute pain, and only then do I have to reduce the pain medication, or a person can get addicted to heavy pain medicine. I was surprised that even Canibus was brought into the picture with a pamphlet, that I could utilize prior to my surgery. If only my doctor was so willing, and adventurous. What complicates things is that my doc is on vacation too, so we are struggling with pain management, as only he is allowed to give my husband his three ply prescription to get his oxy.
Praise God, my husband made spaghetti today, and I have not had to leave my bed. My back pain is termendous. I got a list of equipment I will need to acquire prior to my hip surgery, if Jesus doesn't return before this medical intervention. I sure hope he does.We are still watching for His appearing.

I already dread this week of my daughters second year anniversary of her taking her life. All this is happening on August 18th, but deep down, I already sense the disarray, helplessness and pain in my family's life at present. No matter how much I want to recall her life, the good times, her amazing qualities, I tend to visit the memory of her departure. I must keep reminding myself that the way she died does not define her, nor will it ever define her. I will always be a mom whose daughter took her own life, but it will not define who I am as a person. I belong to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, and He will exalt us in due time. Our grief and shame, and sorrow will all vanish in the twinkling of the eye. We will be united with Deborah, my sweetness.
Good news surrounds us as well. Our roof has been fixed and is completed. My one daughter is going on a date that seems very promising, almost divinely so. They both attended the same christian high school  at some point.  After her breakup with a severe seasonal depressed person who did not want to commit in any way, she has climbed out of this state of loss. A new day, a new promise of love, and hope. We were also able to pay off all of our debts, and again this is only because of God's grace and mercy.  I forgot to take my heart medication today, and sometimes it hurts, not so much cause I missed the medication but because of our loss.