Good News; Vase found

Good News! The Gardener found Deborah's vase with some flowers in it about 100 yards from her grave. The cemetary personell phoned me with the good news. In the past, some metal scrap yards have caught the thief, but apparently, the judge ruled that they did not have enough evidence to convict him, because his defense was that the vases were just thrown there.
 I brought the vase home, thinking that I should try to keep it at home, and just put a plastic vase there, but I changed my mind and returned the bronze vase. As her 4th year of passing is approaching we are all consumed by the great loss, and monumental sense of missing her.
I will have to share in an upcoming blog about our luncheon date with friends who are further along in years than us. They gave us some very good tips and advice on how to approach the adult child phase. In a nutshell, we must relinquish them to God. We cannot expect anything, even as Jesus was treated by His disciples with much scorn, and hatred and betrayal. These were the people He was closest to. We must release our children into the hands of God. He knows precisely what they need. He will love, them, care for them, and chastise them if needed, and definitely lead them if they listen to His still small Voice.
 They told us that Deborah would not want us to blame our unhappiness on her. We must attempt to pursue the abundant life with God's help. A man does not want to have an unhappy wife around him, because he will get sick by not being able to change her attitude, and perception.
Yes, we all grieve differently, and this grief may be ongoing, but we must transcend the grief. Often I cry inside, because I do not know how to do this. As parents of adult children we must step back.