Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Glorious Insults

My dear senior friend sent me this:
These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
 
 
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” "That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
 
"He had delusions of adequacy ." Walter Kerr
 
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
 
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow
 
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
 
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -Moses Hadas
 
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -Mark Twain
 
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde
 
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -Winston Churchill, in response
 
 
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop
 
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -John Bright
 
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb
 
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson
 
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
 
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forrest Tucker
 
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain
 
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West
 
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
 
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang
(1844-1912)
 
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder

No comments:

Post a Comment