Oceans and Frigid Waters

As I crossed high above the Fraser River today via sky train on my way to have my doctor check out my incision, I couldn't help but get sick to my stomach again. I can't look at the frigid waters, or in fact any bridges on the television. I can picture my daughter washed up on the shores of these waters. I think of how cold she must be in her grave, and how I would gladly let her have my camel coat. I wore her gloves today. Lovely leather gloves, her hands almost as large as mine. Her feet identical to mine. I really should be giving all her things away especially since there was over a 100 people who lost their home due to a fire in Langley this weekend. Will parting with her things help with the healing? I saw a pretty blond girl on the sky train. I again was reminded of Deborah. She was nowhere as pretty as her, but still I was reminded on Deborah. The sunrays feel icy cold without her. Laughter has diminished. The house is still quiet compared to when we enjoyed her presence for 19 years.

 I wonder how many families will not be finding their loved ones bodies as the ice and water keeps their beloved tangled and hidden in the waters. How many families hearts will be broken this year of their family member leaving way too soon, and in such a horrid way. She jumped 75 meters off that bridge. How much pain she must have had. This was the song that she often played on her Bluetner piano.