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Following suicide of loved one, New Glasgow woman says people need to speak out on issue
Robbie Weatherbee thought she was going to be planning a wedding in 2017.
The New Glasgow resident
had welcomed home her daughter Joanna and soon-to-be son-in-law Bryan
from Vancouver and a family wedding was going to be celebrated at their
home.
The young couple had a
place to stay, family close by and steady income. On the outside, they
looked like they had it all, but inside, she said, Bryan’s unresolved
childhood abuse and trauma was getting the best of him.
Weatherbee saw his pain.
She felt the frustration when he tried to get help and she now lives
with the guilt of not being able to do more after he took his own life
on Jan. 18, 2017, leaving behind a nine-year-old son.
“In December, Bryan went to
the ER at the Aberdeen Hospital in crisis, talking about hurting
himself, and had a plan in place to do so. He was put in a side room
alone for several hours. After assessing him, he was kept for the night.
The next day he was supplied with antidepressants and released. He did
not want to leave but was told he had lots of support and there was
nothing more they could do for him.”
Weatherbee said the day
after Bryan died, he received a letter from the health authority that
had a pre-screen appointment for group therapy in the middle of
February.
This letter arrived almost
one month after Bryan was at the hospital and this would make it almost
two months before his pre-screen.
“If he had been in any other kind of medical emergency that threatened his life, I am sure he would not have been sent away.”
The entire thing has left
her family living a nightmare, she said, because not only have they lost
a loved one, they are living with the guilt that they should have done
more.
“Bryan told them he
shouldn’t be leaving the hospital but they told him you have lots of
support at home,” Weatherbee said. “We were supposed to help him. We
were his support. It puts us in a place where we feel we have failed. I
think our system is letting people down.”
Weatherbee said she shared
Bryan’s story after his death with whoever would listen. She talked, or
rather vented, but nothing took away their pain and frustration. She
called mental health, looking for support groups for families who have
lost loved ones to suicide, but she says she never got a call back.
Then someone mentioned Todd Leader’s name to her.
“It was brought up to me
that he might be someone I want to see because we were trying to deal
with Bryan’s death. We were trying to find answers. Just how to cope
with it.”
She went to hear him speak at the NSCC and after months of feeling hopeless, she found someone who was making sense.
“His whole thing is that we
need to fix the system,” she said. “There are lots of good people
working in the system but the system itself is broken. It needs to be
changed. He wrote a book, “It’s Not About Us.” I bought his book and
read it and it was like a revelation and everyone needs to read this
book. His message is that we need to speak out for change especially
around mental health because what they are doing it is not working.”
Meeting Leader also
connected her to the Facebook group, #How many more NSHA-IWK which has
2,000 members ranging from people who tried to end their own lives, to
families who lost loved ones, to people working in the health care
system.
“I hate when people say
they choose to do this or that they were selfish. When people say that, I
know they don’t understand. Suicidal people don’t want to die. They
feel it’s their only option. He did everything he was supposed to do and
the system failed him,” she said. “I should have got in the car and
taken him to Truro and tell them we aren’t leaving until he got help. If
I knew then what I know now there are a lot of things I would do
differently.”
Weatherbee said after
meeting Leader, reading his book and connecting with others on social
media, she committed to being an advocate for change in the mental
health system.
Mental health has to be
talked about like any other illness, she said. Years ago, people didn’t
talk about cancer, being pregnant or abuse. Suicide is still a taboo
subject. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about but talking is
better than losing a loved one.
The only way to make it
normal is to keep talking, she said. Four thousand people die a year
from suicide in Canada, but no one talks about it as being a problem
that needs to change.
Her belief in Leader’s words coupled with her own loss have given
her a new direction in
life. She is sharing her own experiences as well as Bryan’s, lobbying
for change in the health authority and connecting with politicians for
change in government policies and laws.
This Wednesday, Leader will
be speaking at the NSCC and she wants everyone to come and hear his
words. The event was organized by Samantha MacKenzie, a second-year
nursing student at NSCC, who also sees Leader’s words as life changing.
Weatherbee said if he can reach others, the way he reached her and
MacKenzie, more people will talk about suicide and more will change.
“We have to do better as a society. I never imagined my family would be dealing with this tragedy”
The Nova Scotia Health
Authority is unable to comment on specific cases or clients because of
privacy reasons, but it says it is taking steps to improve its service
in mental health and addictions.
"On behalf of Robert Graham, director of
Mental Health and Addictions (Northern Zone) of the NSHA, we’d offer:
Nova Scotia Health Authority continues to work collaboratively with
partners to improve our response to the needs of individuals, their
families and our communities. Our Mental Health and Addictions Crisis
Response Team in New Glasgow has expanded by three new positions over
the past few years. We are currently working to add an additional two
positions to increase our capacity to provide urgent care follow up to
those who need this level of support. We’ve just hired one position and
are in the process of filling the other. We’ve also been piloting an
Urgent Psychiatric Clinic for the past year to provide urgent assessment
and follow up for clients in need. The Crisis Response Team makes
referrals to that clinic based on their assessment and follow-up. “
Transforming Mental Health and Addictions
Wednesday, Feb. 14, at NSCC Pictou Campus
2:30-4:30 p.m.
Sponsored by Poulain’s Pharmacy in Stellarton
Speaker: Todd Leader,
author of It’s Not About Us – The secret to transforming mental health
and addiction system in Canada. He is a registered psychologist and
social worker who has spent 27 years working as a transformational
leader in health services in teaching Faculty of Science at Saint Mary’s
University.
He was appointed by the
Nova Scotia Minister of Health and Wellness to the ministerial panel on
innovation in mental health and addictions.
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