Today, We Want to Stay in Bed

Today, we all want to stay in bed. Yesterday, friends brought over a beautiful white rose bud plant in memory of Deborah's 3rd year of passing. When I looked at it, it made me cry; remembering that her life too was a little bud, just beginning. At 19 your life is not usually formulated, and certainly she suffered from psychosis that did not really heal. Together our family and friends shared a meal. I made various dips such as spinach, cream cheese spread with caraway, and paprika/garlic, salami /ham sandwiches, mushroom caps filled with bacon and compliments of my friends 3 bottles of wine. The wine which we enjoyed later that evening truly relaxed us. Even my girls enjoyed the medium sweet wine. My 3 daughters went to their sister's graveside with red roses of which they gave half the bundle to me, for giving birth to Deborah and bringing her into this world. We watched a little of the old family films of when the children were young. We got a brief glimpse into their choir productions, violin symphonies, and school performances. We saw them laugh, practice their choir gigs, and celebrate birthdays. Reflection. Such good memories.
We shared of present accomplishments, fears, hopes. Ultimately, we still can't believe it has been three years. Upon our guests leaving, we did stop by the suicide survivor's Barbecue Pot Luck. There was a huge array of desserts left. I saw other families who have lost loved ones three years ago also. We shared a bit of their journey, hugged, talked. It was on the patio of the funeral home, a beautiful place. There was over 30 people there with some fine saxophone music. Valley View funeral home was the  most gracious host of such events. The next one will be world suicide prevention day coming up in September. As we arrived home that night the girls arrived home from the bottom of Patullo Bride, the shoreline of the Fraser River where Deborah's body was found on August 19th, three years ago today. There was only one friend there this year with her boyfriend. A girl almost unrecognizable. She was beautiful my daughter said. A picture of health.  Her life on the right track with a bright road ahead in a 2 year college program on Mental Health. My hope today is to put some flowers on Deborah's bench across our street, at Bear Creek Park, where she used to love to jog.