Friday, June 29, 2018

Pageant Hopeful aims to inspire others with anxiety

Surrey resident Stephanie Solem is competing in the Mrs. BC pageant this Canada Day weekend. (Submitted photo)

Surrey pageant hopeful aims to inspire others with anxiety

Sex abuse survivor Stephanie Solem is competing in the Mrs. BC pageant in Langley this Canada Day weekend
For Stephanie Solem, entering the Mrs. BC pageant is an opportunity to inspire others who struggle with anxiety and push past her own challenges in life.
This Canada Day weekend, the Surrey resident will take a second shot at winning the pageant.
“I entered Miss BC when I was younger and unfortunately I had to drop out because my mom was diagnosed with cancer,” said Solem. “So this is kind of like a second chance for me, and when I got accepted I was over the moon.”
It’s particularly meaningful since the charity pageant involves raising funds for Cops for Cancer, and supporting children who have the disease.
“I know how much it can change your life,” she said of the disease that took her mother’s life. “Honestly I’ve always had a drive to make a difference. To live a meaningful life. Losing my mom at such a young age I learned how short life can be. I want to make a difference while I’m here.”
See also: Langley’s Natasha Chadney competes for Miss BC title
See also: It’s all about the journey for Delta’s pageant hopefuls
See also: Surrey pageant contestant’s goal is to give back
The pageant is also an opportunity for Solem to face her anxiety, which she says is the result of childhood sexual abuse.
“I have suffered from anxiety most of my life and it does stem from the abuse I suffered when I was a child,” said Solem. “But I’m a survivor.”
Talking about it helps, she added.
“The reason I shared that about myself in my biography was to raise awareness and inspire other women who have been abused,” said Solem. “It doesn’t encompass who you are, and there’s no need to bottle it up.”
But she acknowledged the anxiety she battles with makes it hard to put herself out there.
“Being a part of this pageant I really had to push myself,” she said, “and become comfortable in situations I normally wouldn’t be.”
In addition to inspiring others who have anxiety and are overcoming abuse, she hopes to inspire her two children, ages two and five.
“I just want them to see it’s important to have a voice and be active in shaping the future,” Solem said, “and what you can do if you put your mind to it.”
Solem, now a wife and stay-at-home mom, was a trained nurse for five years before having children.
She herself grew up with foster parents, and 10 siblings, in Tsawwassen.
“It was absolutely a wonderful experience,” she recalled. “I learned so much from my parents and the children in my life. To love unconditionally. I really learned compassion.”
Solem said she’s grateful for her main sponsor, Lucy Clothing in Langley, which is providing her pageant attire.
“They have clothing for the curvy plus-size woman, which I am and proud to be,” she said.
The Miss, Miss Teen, Jr. Miss and Mrs. BC Pageant will run from June 30 to July 2 in Fort Langley, with the pageant finale set for 6:30 p.m. at the Chief Sepass Theatre (9096 Trattle St., Langley) on July 2.
Visit missbc.ca for more information and to see a complete list of contestants across the province.

'Controlled burn' destroyed 36 homes in the Florida Panhandle - Daily Mail

I don't believe the 'controlled burn" going out of control. I think personally it was intentional, just like the many fires started by microwave technology. I did speak with my mom shortly in Florida today. She is an old folks home. Sadly, when we got disconnected, and I tried calling back the phone was not answered by staff. I sure miss my mom in Florida. Even hearing her voice for a few minutes took me back, to my youthful years, when my mom played a central role in our lives. Now she is helpless, relying on staff to look after her. Please pray for Rose.

Alabama Attorney General Steve Marshall Opens Up About Wife's Suicide | ...

Alabama AG Steve Marshall news conference on wife's suicide

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Prophecy Alert: “Longest BLOOD MOON” Apocalyptic Sign July 27, 2018

Interesting to Me...

Middle East Current Events Update, June 26, 2018.

Revelator Josh Garrels

Everybody Lies - Jason Walker (Lyrics)

A very young man recently took his life, and left this song on his telephone for his family to hear. This song writer is a very accomplished artist, so my daughter tells me.

Too much pain. Part of depression. Our hearts our broken to pieces. We know he is in the arms of Jesus, but we also know that not everybody who takes their life goes to Heaven

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Why I have been off line

Hello,I have been unable to write to you my readers for several reasons. My hinge on Deborah's computer broke, and my screen was detached from the computer. Our old neighbour used apoxy to re-secure it, and the drying and repair process took a few days (drying time included). In the meantime, he updated our files/photo's, my telephone. So now, with all my updates of Deborah's pictures from these tiny blackberry chips, I have over 600 pictures to look through. I will be posting some of Deborah, most likely you have never seen. It is difficult to go through them, but it is once again confirming her very active life, and the love she had for everyone. In addition, I have had some medical situation to deal with. Just now, a drainage tube has been pulled out of my leg, and the hole that was created by a branch in the garden should heal in 3 weeks the emergency doctor told me. I did not need stitches because there was not enough skin left, the doctor told me. I have started to read a book called 'recovering from the loss of a sibling' by Katherine Fair Donnelly. It is an older book written in the 80's and my daughter Sarah says that it is not great. However, any information is good to know, any life stories/perspectives. The siblings who are left to mourn are the "forgotten grievers". I truly hope that we can have a lovely summer together, and look forward to all that God has for us. Thank you for your patience.

Farmers' suicides: the rising human cost of the EU's agriculture crisis ...

Farmer suicides rising in Punjab. here's why.

OVERCOME DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY - Motivational Video (Very Powerful)

This Is Not The End - Inspiring Speech On Depression & Mental Health

Monday, June 25, 2018

Joe Rogan on Suicide and Anthony Bourdain

Student Suicide


University student suicide rates revealed

University student suicide rates revealed

Image copyright Getty Images
Suicide rates for higher education students have been revealed for the first time.
The Office of National Statistics figures show 95 recorded university student suicides for the 12 months to July 2017 in England and Wales.
This is lower than for the general population of similar ages, but does not include suicides among students at further education colleges.
Since the 1950s there has been limited data on student suicides.
A report published last autumn showed the numbers of students disclosing mental health problems had increased fivefold in a decade.
Up until now detail on things like age clusters, people's undergraduate or postgraduate status, or comparison with similar-age people who did not enter higher education, has not been available.
There were more than 2m students study at a university in England or Wales in the 12 months up to July 2017, meaning the suicide rate was 4.7 deaths per 100,000 students.
Suicide rates were higher among young men than young women.

Chris's story

Chris Coombs attempted to take his own life while struggling at university 10 years ago. He is now back at university studying to be a counsellor to help people who might find themselves in his situation.
"I became very isolated and started purposely isolating. Hygiene went out the window, personal care went out the window. That day-to-day routine thing didn't happen. I stopped going to lectures, I didn't answer emails, I didn't open post and cut myself off because it was too much to deal with."
Media captionStudent Chris Coombs: "By the end of March I knew that I was going to die."
Chris admitted it was hard to think about how to call on the resources available to help him resolve his situation.
"No-one knew I was ill, but personally that takes a great toll to keep up appearances."
Chris had counselling, opened up to friends and took part in activities, like singing with a choir, to confront his depression.
"When I compare how things were for me as a student over 10 years ago versus now that's a profound shift in how universities and other organisations view mental health. It is much more important.
"There are services out there that are not just bolt-ons but actually they are core value because, at the end of the day, it's in the interest of the university and the student that the student succeeds."
He says universities are getting better at providing the right support.
"More of our students are likely to come through without burning themselves out and without falling to pieces, and without feeling that they are stuck in a place they cant get out of."

Help is out there

Last month, Universities UK (UUK) announced it was working with NHS leaders to improve mental health support for students.
Research by the Institute for Public Policy Research found that over the past five years, 94% of universities have experienced a sharp increase in the number of people trying to access support services, with some institutions noticing a threefold increase.
UUK want university leaders to do more to provide support to students.
John de Pury, the Universities UK lead on mental health policy, said: "Although there is a lower rate of student suicide among university students in England and Wales compared with the general population of similar ages, there is no room for complacency here. This remains an urgent challenge for universities and society."
The University of Derby has been using a number of different techniques to help assist students who suffer from mental health problems.
One of its methods includes all students taking a course in mental health wellbeing to provide ways to help them cope with the demands of their academic and personal lives.
University of Derby vice-chancellor Kathryn Mitchell said: "Our approach is we understand that students will arrive, probably with significantly higher levels of stress in undertaking their degrees, but our job is to make sure that whether some students are more stressed than others they can get the best outcome for their degree."
If you are worried or need any advice on any of the topics discussed in this article, go to BBC Actionline.

Related Topics

The many faces of suicide

The many faces of suicide

(Getty Images)
Suicide ideation can happen to anyone. Behind our public face lies exhaustive unspoken hell for some. The recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain highlight human fragility, the toll of relentless inner torment, despair and demons, and the wake of devastation left behind. It’s a death like none other.
Dr. Julie Cerel, licensed psychologist and president of the American Association of Suicidology.
“My research has focused on changing this idea that each suicide only impacts a handful of people. We have found that at least half of us know someone who has died by suicide, and each suicide leaves behind about 135 people who personally knew the person before their death,” says Dr. Julie Cerel, licensed psychologist and president of the American Association of Suicidology.
And because we don’t talk about these losses the way we talk about other losses, it is a painful secret in many families and communities that puts people at risk of their own depression and suicidal thoughts, especially right after heavy news coverage of suicide, and especially when it goes into detail and is a similar method as their loved one, says Cerel, professor at the University of Kentucky, College of Social Work.
The repercussions are enormous for the survivors of suicide loss. Unanswerable questions linger, so too, unspeakable sadness and self-blame too. Societal stigma heaps on more blame and judgements.
According to Cerel, anyone can have a time in their life when they are suicidal. “In a national U.S. study of youth, 17.7% of students had seriously considered suicide at least once in the past year – that means it is imperative that people feel comfortable looking out for their loved ones and friends and being able to see those who are struggling and ask them if they are suicidal.”
Author Julie Hersh
Regardless of age, gender, education or class, the tragedy of suicide is indiscriminate. Julie Hersh attempted suicide three times, including carbon monoxide poisoning. Her depression/bipolar disorder is a lifelong battle which was ultimately treated with Electroconvulsive Therapy, and she still manages with medication and healthy lifestyle choices.
When someone dies by suicide, “what this person did was not out of lack of love for you. His/her brain was stuck in a weird logic where death actually seemed like a logical act, even a moral act,” says Hersh, mental health advocate of hershfoundation.org and author of Struck by Living: From Depression to Hope. “I could not see this future in the crystal ball of my vision in August of 2001. I was wrong. Thank God I’m not very good at killing myself!”
Life will change, she stresses, and she hopes that being an example of that will give someone else hope. You have to hang around long enough to see what happens. “If I had completed my suicide, I would have missed the last 17 years of my life. During this time I’ve had some of the best experiences of my life, traveled internationally, made friends, incredible hikes, ran marathons… but best of all watched my children grow up into people I admire. They are now 22 and almost 24, working and pretty happy.
“I am not sure their lives would have been the same if I had died by suicide when they were five and seven. And, my husband, most days, still loves me. We’ll be married 28 years on August 4. Nothing is perfect, but it’s pretty damn good,” adds Hersh, of struckbyliving.com.
Hersh survives and thrives, but many don’t: Today in Canada approximately 11 people will end their lives by suicide, reports suicideprevention.ca. In addition, approximately 210 others will attempt to end their lives by suicide today.
And, according to Cerel, just like any other sudden and traumatic death, loss survivors go on with their lives. “It take a lot of time and isn’t the linear grief stage process that a lot of people expect. For many, anniversaries of the death and important days are very hard, even years later.”
Some turn to support groups, others to individual therapy. Some need medication because they slip into depression or have PTSD. “PTSD can be prevalent in loss survivors even if they do not see the suicide scene because they imagine the pain their loved one experienced,” says Cerel. Some people even have what is called post traumatic growth in which they end up making the world better in the wake of their pain like becoming a therapist, running for political office, starting a non-profit. “Post traumatic growth means people grow more than they might have without the loss.”
SHROUDED IN STIGMA
Suicide is shrouded by stigma with many believing that it’s shameful and selfish. “People who die by suicide are the opposite of selfish,” says Dr. Julie Cerel. Many truly believe they are helping their loved ones by dying because they feel like they are such a burden on them. “Suicidal thinking clouds people’s judgement and lies to them. It tells them that they are not loved and they will not be missed. As each suicide leaves about 135 people behind, a third of whom are probably close, this is the furthest from the truth.”
TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE
It’s a very uncomfortable topic to broach with someone you suspect may be thinking of suicide. What’s the best approach?
Practice the conversation. Get them in a private place so you aren’t making it more uncomfortable and then just ask, says Dr. Julie Cerel. “Tell them how you feel—you are worried about them and concerned they are thinking about suicide. Don’t be afraid to use the word suicide. If they had cancer, you would ask, so don’t make suicide different.”
THE IMPACT OF DEPRESSION
Depression is infectious: A 20-year study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry reports that children of depressed parents are three times more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders, major depression and substance abuse by their 30s. And it’s not necessarily biological – just living with a depressed person can have a profound effect on family members.
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No one is immune to suicide.

No one is immune to suicide. But there is hope

The recent deaths of CNN celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain and fashion designer Kate Spade are the latest reminder that suicide is a complex and growing crisis in the United States, where such deaths have gone up over 25% in the past two decades.
"I lost my brother Carter to it. Glenn Close nearly lost her sister, Jessie. She got treatment, and both are here with us tonight," Cooper said. "So is David Axelrod, whose father died by suicide, and Karl Rove, whose mother did. And Zak Williams, who lost his father, actor and comedian Robin Williams."
Axelrod is a former senior adviser to President Barack Obama while Rove served in the same role in President George W. Bush's administration.
"In one way or another, everyone here tonight in this audience and with me on stage has been touched by suicide, myself included," Cooper said.

Words matter

Actress Glenn Close described the jarring moment her sister, Jessie Close, opened up about having suicidal thoughts.
"She said, 'I need help. I can't stop thinking about killing myself.' And I was taken aback," Close said.
Close offered to help her and did, but said when she looks back, she realizes she never followed up to see if more support was needed.
While it's important to offer our help to someone having suicidal thoughts, it's also important to constantly check in and ask how they are doing, said the actress.
And it can't be a one-time conversation, even if they say they're OK, Glenn Close said.
Zak Williams reiterated that it's crucial to reach out to people who are struggling and love them unconditionally.
Jessie Close said when she asked her sister for help, a voice in her head was repeatedly saying, "Kill yourself, kill yourself." She urged those having suicidal thoughts that it's their responsibility to ask for help.

'My actions were different'

Former Navy SEAL Jimmy Hatch said his military friends saved him when he no longer wanted to live.
Hatch felt lost after an injury in Afghanistan ended his military career, and was going though a "transitional period," he said. His military friends intervened when his wife ran out of options, and took him to a mental hospital.
"I wasn't really crying out. My words were great, but my actions were different. And those guys who had been near me in gunfights and things like that, spent a lot of time with me in the past, they realized that in spite of my words, I was not well," he said. "And they came and injected themselves into my life."

Loved ones question why

Axelrod was in college when he heard that his father had killed himself. His father was a psychologist who'd helped countless of other people with suicidal thoughts.
Asking for help
The suicide rate in the United States has seen sharp increases in recent years. Studies have shown that the risk of suicide declines sharply when people call the national suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.
There is also a crisis text line. For crisis support in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454.
The lines are staffed by a mix of paid professionals and unpaid volunteers trained in crisis and suicide intervention. The confidential environment, the 24-hour accessibility, a caller's ability to hang up at any time and the person-centered care have helped its success, advocates say.

The International Association for Suicide Prevention and Befrienders Worldwide also provide contact information for crisis centers around the world.
"It was so heartbreaking to think that he could do that for others, but he didn't -- he couldn't -- reach out for himself. And I ask myself all the time, 'Why?'" he said.
Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, said it's normal for survivors to ask questions about what signs they missed or what they could have done.
Rove, whose mother died by suicide, wondered if there was anything he could have done to stop her death. At the time, his mother was going through a dark period, but she sounded like she was getting better, he said.
When it comes to suicide of a loved one, it's easy to get stuck on how their life ended, instead of how they lived, Cooper said.
"My brother died by suicide nearly 30 years ago, and still not a day goes by when I do not find myself thinking about what happened and asking, "why?" he said.

'It's an illness'

Having suicidal thoughts should not be considered a stigma. It's an illness that a doctor can fix if caught on time, Axelrod said.
"For 30 years after my father's death, I never talked about it ... I didn't talk about it because I was impacted by the sense of stigma that somehow this was a blight on his character," he said.
After losing son to suicide, she considered it too

After losing son to suicide, she considered it too 01:32
The stigma goes beyond the issue of deaths by suicide.
Jane Clementi's son, Tyler, had recently come out and was a target of cyberbullying when he died by suicide in 2010.
"Gay youth are also more likely to be bullied. And of course not all bullying situations end in the terrible circumstances that Tyler's did -- but they still suffer great consequences," Clementi said.
Some of the bullying, she said, is a result of the stigma against gay people.
"I think if we could stop teaching that ... being gay is a sin, I believe that most of the LGBT youth suicides would decrease or maybe even disappear," she said.

Survivors speak out

Eleven years have passed since Jordan Burnham nearly died by suicide when he was 18.
At the time, Burnham said, he was ashamed to share with loved ones that he did not feel like himself.
Linkin Park singer's wife reflects on day he died

Linkin Park singer's wife reflects on day he died 01:18
"There wasn't an open culture when it comes to talking about when we're struggling and our mental health issues," he said.
He's seen how the conversation has slowly changed around the issue.
"There's a difference in the way students are talking about this, and being open and honest I think is incredible," he said.
Another survivor, Dese'Rae Stage, collects stories and portraits of suicide attempt survivors like her to help reduce the prejudice and discrimination.
"I wanted to show that we are people, we're just like everyone else, we come from different cultures, different backgrounds, social economic status, age range, gender presentation, sexual orientation," Stage said. "That suicide doesn't discriminate, essentially."