Offering hope, inspiration and support to those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
Suicide: A Loss of Hope?
The
other day, I heard a survivor say their loved one “died from a loss of
hope.” This is such a simple, beautifully-articulated statement. How
have I not used this myself before?When explaining how someone died by suicide, most people fixate on the “did he or she commit or complete suicide” argument. Yes, that is certainly a very straightforward and factual way to put it. But, it feels rather cold, like the manner in which they died. I’m finding more and more that I personally like the way some of the softer phrases come across. I think my dad did die from a loss of hope. Hope that whatever troubles were on his mind would find a resolution. Hope that the weight of his depression would ever be lifted off his shoulders. Hope that he wouldn’t be judged for coming forward for help. None of these “hopes” seemed possible anymore. Or, he lost the drive to trust in them and find ways to bring them to fruition.
I think hope is one of the primary drivers that keep us going. Life can be rather stressful and burdensome, even to those who are not facing depression. I hope I can find the right balance between my personal and professional life. I hope I have made the right choices financially to be able to retire at a reasonable age. I hope I make it home safely every night. The “hopes” I mention feel like more of an everyday kind, but they motivate me to proceed. It’s the trust that there’s something better at the end of the tunnel – whether that be the tunnel I’m driving through to get home on a Tuesday, or the longer tunnel of life. When I think about the “hopes” of someone contemplating suicide and the struggle to see how they could ever be seen through, it makes sense.
Once someone has lost that hope, I don’t know how they get it back, but I want to believe there’s a way. I think that counseling and reaching out for help is a step. I’ve also read debates about what role faith and religion play in a decision to complete suicide. Religion is fueled by hope and the thought is a spiritually-driven person would know “better” than to give up. I’m not entirely sure. My dad was the president of the church council and attended services every week. He prayed and read the bible and recorded sermons he heard on the radio. Maybe he hoped to reach the better place he knew so well and therefore didn’t lose hope at all? I don’t know.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there’s a correlation between suicide and hope?
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