One of Deborah's friends who speaks about her experience with Mental Illness.
News Feed
It's
Bell Let's Talk Day.. A day where we break down the stigma of mental
health. Mental health is something I whole heartedly stand up for and is
a dream of mine to speak at schools about it and promote awareness.
Those that know me, know that mental health is something that I have had
to cope with in many ways.. I have lost close friends to the illness
and have suffered greatly from it myself. When I was in Gr.11 I
witnessed a hit and run car crash and what I didn't know was that
started my PTSD. It wasn't until the 1st day of Grade 12 when we lost
William Thornton that it got really bad. I had seen him walking home and
thought to go out and ask him how his day was, instead I decided not to
because he had put in his headphones. The next day was when I learned
that less then an hour after he was gone. Although the situation was not
the sole reason for my depression it had a big impact. I had convinced
myself that had I gone out things would have been different, had I said
hello could it have saved him. I began to take responsibility even
though it likely would of just been postponed... I became depressed
after I couldn't handle everything that had pilled up on me. I started
taking everything personally and started to withdraw from people that
were once my best friends. I had started cutting my wrists because I
didn't think I was allowed to cry. I cut 2-3 times a day hiding it from
everyone. I had confided in a friend Jaden Dobsin who ultimately told
our youth leader that had called my parents. I remember the day the
phone rang and I was called up stairs. I knew what it was about and I
knew the pain I was about to put my parents through. I continued to
struggle with depression and cutting for the rest of the school year and
into the summer. I went to camp with the youth group and heard Jason
speak, I remember still struggling a lot and thought how does he know,
it's like he was talking directly to me. I sat at the end of the dock
contemplating everything that had happened and realized i couldn't do it
on my own anymore, he came down and found me and I spoke with him about
it and the next night was the first time I admitted I had a problem out
loud. I got help and went to a counsellor that helped me stop cutting
but when I turned 19 it had started again. I used to describe it as if
it were my nicotine I was addicted to it. I started drinking every
weekend and partying to the point I only had vague memory's I became
friends with people I only later found out were going to shatter my
whole world. It wasn't until I moved to Ontario and started dating the
love of my life Addi Smythe
that I figured my life out, got away from all the toxic people and
places. I had visited my best friend at the time who had also moved to
Ontario in London for his birthday, we again got drunk like we always
did but I had changed. He pinned me down as his friend assaulted me thus
sending me into another downward spiral. I have since gotten the help I
need and am thriving in my new life with dreams and goals that I'm
continually exceeding. The help I've gotten has allowed me to deal with
my issues in healthy ways so upon learning of Deborah Gordon
passing away I was able to deal with my emotions appropriately for the
first time in a long time.... there are parts of my story I often leave
out and many don't know of but it is so important to break the stigma,
to let others know there is help out there that there is a future when
it feels like there isn't one. Everyone knows someone that has
struggled, it shouldn't be one day a year, it should be everyday. Let's
break the stigma of Mental Disorders. 
❤️ #bellletstalk
❤️ #bellletstalk
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