Anger and Arguments

I often thought of what makes people yell, and scream and argue? The rage in some is so monumental, and the explosion so abrupt that it leaves no room for a response. It leaves one paralyzed. I see this in  adults with poor relationships with their parents, to girlfriend and boyfriend, to spousal relationships. Perhaps it boils down to a hatred of ones self, to manifest such anger towards another individual. Unresolved feelings of abandonment, being trapped, hurt, and pain. This pain can be so deep, that it has no way to be channeled outward except by directing it on another person. If a person has respect for another, they would be adamate about training their tongue, their tone of voice, and pursue a deep desire to understand why they are behaving that way.
For instance, I had many opportunities in my life to loose it. A sick husband, children who had some challenges physically, or mentally. A work place that entailed multi-tasking with large volumes of customers who were always right. I have too, been disowned by my mom, especially after my conversion to my faith. I was also abandoned by my  international fugitive ex husband who I wrote about in past blogs. It would have taken no effort to fall into the trap of starting to be vocal, short and unbearable to my family. Instead, I made a conscientious decision when the children were still young that I would not vent my anger towards them. I would choose to go for a walk, let the children be with their dad for a little while, so I can get a break, turn on some music, or read scripture. I would call them precious.  Taking deep breaths also helps to overcome the initial wave of helplessness, as we are feeling cornered. If I did need to discipline them, then I would do it gently, without a loud voice, and ask them what kind of punishment they think they deserve.
The bible speaks somewhere that even if we are angry at a brother, that it is like murder. So... how do we have a right to yell, raise our voice on someone who is created in God's image? How do we hope to enter Heaven's Gate with our temper? Will God allow another uprising in Heaven? I do not think so... We must curb our appetite to rule over others with our anger. If we have mental health issues, then help must be sought out. There are many courses including "Freedom Session" in our local churches to address this. I have also had tenants in the past who have exhibited a loud demeanor, and felt that they were in control if they yelled. I can assure you that we must put the flesh under control of the Holy Spirit's guidance. Our tongue  is an uncontrollable member in our mouths, and once it speaks, those words cannot be taken back  I think speaking affirmatively, is another thing, and sometimes needed, to make an emphasis. I don't think a monotone voice is a desirable thing but we are to shun wrath. Anger will never accomplish what we hope.


Here is a poem by an unknown writer: To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend and get married, a piece of Biblical advice."Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on your Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lying-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az,Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothingaz, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatingyoaz. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects yoaz.