We Cannot Stay Stagnant

Feeling unproductive today. I should have done things, indoors or out. Instead, my husband used the blower to clean the driveway, and he called the tree pruner to pay us a visit tomorrow. I wish I had learned this art from all my Hungarian relatives, but as a 10 yr old you don't pay much attention to these things. My grandparents had huge fruit tree orchards, mostly apple, pear, and plums. Last year I had a few branches break with the weight of the harvest. My two pear trees that my dad gave us are my most precious possession. So tomorrow, we will know the estimate of what 10 trees will cost to prune, all under 4 meters tall.

I think the reason I am so blue is because I found out yesterday that a friend and very active member of the Pentecostal church here in Surrey, died very suddenly. He was only 59 yrs old. Our children went to school together with theirs for a short time, but we have shared meals together. His family is from Winnipeg so all the arrangements will be made there. It is unbelievable, almost foreign to have a person go into emergency one afternoon and by the evening be in-critical condition. He never was able to celebrate Valentine's day with his wife. My recollection of when I saw them last was at my daughter's funeral. They rallied and hugged us with all their might on our most tragic day of our lives. They both helped in the kitchen with sandwich preparations to feed literally the 500 who came. There were at least 3 long rows of tables filled with wraps and sandwiches that day. It was as if we never had parted from the church they attend to this day. Life will never be the same, for them or for us.

The days on some days still seem to blur.  I await for yet another foreign student for spring Break.  I went through Deborah's room yesterday again, feeling pain, and more intense memories. I washed her pajamas, as they got dusty on a shelf, and air-vacuumed some of her hats and scarves. I made space in the closet. I haven't washed the floor yet. I still have till March.  I reached out for friends to come and walk with me to her Memorial Bench. I am waiting to hear back from them.

Last night to the pleasure of my soon to be 24 yr old, we fed the raccoons cat food in our back deck. She has names for each of them. They polished off a half an ice cream bucket. The winter has taken a toll even on them. Now I'm hearing there will be more snow in our mountains. The winter can be lonely and gloomy. Please do whatever it takes to avoid these slums. Treat yourself to a haircut, or visit an elder. A river must continue to flow. We cannot stay stagnant or we will become a swamp. We must receive fresh water, and release that fresh water also to bless others.