My Teenage Son Said He Wanted to Commit Suicide
January 5, 2016
It
was the one phone call I never expected. My child’s high school
counselor was on the other end of the line, explaining to me that my son
had told his friends that he was thinking about suicide.
I
didn’t know how to respond. His counselor told me that she’d spoken
with my son and that he had admitted to her he’d talked about committing
suicide, but that he didn’t have a plan.
“Why don’t you come pick him up today and see about getting him some help,” she said.
I
was completely thrown. How could this have happened without me seeing
the signs? Immediately I called my husband, while rushing to get
dressed.
“What? He was so happy this morning,” he said.
“I know; I don’t understand either.”
When
I arrived, I hugged my son and escorted him to the car, then drove
directly to the nearest emergency room to admit him for a psychiatric
assessment as his counselor had advised. For 10 hours, we waited in a
small room for a qualified professional to arrive and decide whether or
not my son was truly at risk. The entire time I sat with my son,
listened to his frustrations and tried my best to understand what had
motivated him to tell his friends that he was contemplating suicide.
What I learned wasn’t completely new, but some of it was surprising.
For
months, I knew my son had been feeling isolated and lonely. His
classmates and friends weren’t always supportive and many times, he felt
as if no one at school liked or accepted him. That wasn’t the only
thing — a few weeks earlier, he also saw the outpouring of love and
support when his closest friend was hospitalized for threatening to take
his own life.
“I
knew I would never do it,” my son assured me. “It’s just that sometimes
I wish people were nicer to me. And ever since my friend went to the
hospital, everyone’s been really caring towards him. It made me think
that suicide was a way to get people to see I was hurting, too.”
Eventually,
a licensed clinical social worker arrived and declared my son healthy
and mentally stable enough to return home. He told me privately that
sometimes teenagers could be influenced by other children who attempt
suicide, and that he didn’t feel our son was intent on harming himself.
Even
with medical clearance, the experience left me shaken. I didn’t want to
leave my son alone, for fear he was saying the right thing to distract
us. I made sure to spend lots of one-on-one time with him each day,
listening to his concerns and reminding him of how deeply he was loved.
I
also felt moved to research the idea that people can be influenced by
suicide, and found a piece in The New York Times that explained how suicide rates among young people increased nearly 5 percent when someone they knew, or knew of, committed suicide.
For further understanding, I reached out to Dr. Steven Schlozman, the associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, about this phenomenon of “suicide contagion” and how it impacts teenagers.
“Suicide
contagion happens when someone well-known in the community commits
suicide, and it leads to an increase in suicides from others who may or
may not have known the person,“ he explained. "It can even be a
fictionalized suicide of a character in a movie or book that triggers
this response. What’s statistically significant is that this effect
seems to last two weeks.”
According
to Dr. Schlozman, it is not uncommon for those in the medical
profession who work with children to hear, “I’ve been thinking about
suicide.” Youth-risk surveys have illuminated how common suicidal
thoughts are among teenagers: Approximately 15 to 30 percent of teens
surveyed admit to seriously contemplating suicide, and with higher
stress, those numbers can climb as high as 40 to 50 percent.
“Between
the ages of 12 to 17, through social and peer influence, thoughts of
suicide can be introduced, and the teenager can begin toying with the
idea,” explained Dr. Sanam Hafeez, director and neuropsychologist at Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services in New York City and faculty at Columbia University.
No comments:
Post a Comment