I have a very hard time understanding why Christians, married to Christians, and I'm talking about born again believers, can't make a go of their marriage, or find that they are trapped in some way.. They say comments like, "I can't take it any more, I wish I was single, he puts me down, he opposes my spiritual walk.." and on and on the list goes. I don't understand that they have not learned that once you are married you are married for life. You are in fact equally yoked.. The fact that one of you is in university, and the other in the faith of kindergarten is something that you willingly went into when you married the "jerk".. You are not to think of yourself better than him, or her. Marriage is a sacrifice of giving between two people. We are to be meek and gentle spirited, since it is no longer your wishes, your will. All of that has been crucified at the cross when you became a born again believer. Yes, marriage is work, and if you have children you are setting the example for the children. God still leaves you with two options in a Christian marriage.. You can leave, and divorce your spouse, and forever remain unmarried (except for the sake of adultery, or physical abuse or addiction that makes a relationship unbearable: then you can remarry). If this is the option then realize you will for a lifetime be scarring your children, and demonstrate to them that it is ok to give up on marriage. The second option is to bear it all, realizing that the children are the priority in the relationship, and even if you are not encouraged, feel loved, or whatever.. you will honor your commitment to that person for better or worse.. So indeed God does leave you with these two option; stick it out, or leave, and stay single for the rest of your life because at the time of marriage you were both believers, and likely still are.. (If the unbelieving partner leaves you, then you are no longer bound to him.. you are free to remarry)
The other thing I have a hard time understanding is why a young woman or man would be trapped in a relationship that is going nowhere. Some people have lived together for years, or have dated for years, and still no marriage, no children as a demonstration of their love for each other. If I was in this predicament, I would set a time, ie, 2 years the most to see if indeed the person is marriage material or not. Why would a person waist their youth, on someone who is obviously not ready, nor meets the standards, ethical, spiritual, or physical of the other individual. Sorry to sound like Ann Landers folks but the years and your youth will fly by you, your most precious commodity and old age will creep up on you, with nobody to share anything with, not even small talk on an evening of loneliness. Sometimes a person may not tie the knot over fear of not living up to a persons hopes and dreams. Well there is no perfection in this life. Sometimes the person in question has not made the necessary life changes to prove that he/she is trustworthy and marriage material.. In both these cases.. it is better to be alone. A man who does not want to relate to your family is a red flag.. same goes for a woman who does not want to commune with your beloved family.. This is all about control, and you should recognize it right off the bat. If a person wants no children and the other does, that too is a red flag. A person who wants you to sign a pre-nuptual agreement is a red flag.. Don't do it people. It is better to stay single than to be married to the wrong person.. Do Not Marry a NON Christian if you are a Christian.
Today as I celebrate my husband's birthday, I look back to many hardships, times of quiet, and times of anger. Time of incomprehensible sorrow, when Deborah died and times of great joy, when our children were born. We have matured in our marriage, and are happy sometimes to give each other space. We know how to get things done, how to ask for things, and how to have deep long conversations that only doves have. Did you know that doves are faithful to one partner for the rest of their lives?
Below is an excerpt on how much God loves us.
John 3:16 says: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
THERE is your proof that God Himself demands a belief in Yeshuah/Jesus as the Son of God and Messiah, to gain 'eternal life.' It's all there in black and white.
John 4:16 says Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" He is telling you that belief in Christ as Messiah, as the Christ, is the way to gain entrance into heaven: not by good deeds, but by faith. John 3:6 demonstrates the Holy Spirit's role in this as Jesus states: Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' -
Let's pause a minute and understand this statement: You Must be Born Again." You were born once, at birth, and your second 'birth' is when you say: Jesus is the Messiah, and I believe that is the Son of God, and God himself as part of the trinity. That is what being 'born again' means.
So the next time you see the term: 'God-Fearing' it means that you understand there is a price to pay for not understanding and avoiding sin, and for not believing that Jesus is the 2nd part of the Trinity: the Son of God, and Amen
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